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If only she were doing what they suspected. Meeting with a rake.
Twice she’d sat at the bench of her pianoforte and attempted to play. She’d failed both times. She leaned an elbow back in the sand not caring about her dress.
She suspected that she wanted Ash even more than she wanted music. It was a strange and wonderful feeling if not for the fact that he’d rejected her offer for a real marriage.
Her insides twisted. Even now, the memory of him pushing her away lanced through her and brought renewed pain.
She wished she knew why he was adamant to have a relationship without a physical component. What had happened to him to make him so adamant? She knew he didn’t want to have an heir, but he’d not shared why. Had his mother been uncaring like her aunt? His father cold and cruel like her uncle?
On the one hand, she knew why she’d been tempted to accept his offer. It allowed her a career. And to have children would make her professional life more difficult but as she only planned to be a composer, not impossible. But why would a viscount want a wife that he never touched?
She sighed. She might not ever discover the answer. For all she knew, Dashlane had already left the area to return to his fake, rakish way of life.
She’d seen him at Juliet’s wedding the day before. He’d not spoken a word to her. Drat.
Cordelia lay back in the sand, her hands behind her head to protect her hair. She did not regret her choice. He wasn’t a man she could be so close to and never touch. But she had the impression that her future had just slipped through her fingers.
“You look beautiful like that,” a deep voice called behind her.
She didn’t glance his way. Her ears were finely tuned to sound and she’d recognize that rumble anywhere. “Thank you,” she answered. “I’d thought you’d be halfway to London by now.”
He stopped. “How did you know I was thinking about returning?”
She shrugged, keeping her eyes closed. “What would keep you here?”
“Your father, for starters,” he said.
The ground next to her vibrated as he settled down next to her. Awareness vibrated through her. “My father?” she asked, opening her eyes and turning her head toward Ash.
He’d stretched out on his side next to her, his gaze locked on hers. “Yes. We’ve had an interesting discussion.”
Her eyes widened. “You can’t trust him,” she said. “He wants to see me married.”
He quirked a one-sided smile at that. “Thank you for the warning. It’s most appreciated.” Then he reached out and gently took her hand in his, threading their fingers together. “You’re right, of course. He was fishing for a son-in-law today. Threw lots of pretty things on his hook to try and catch me.”
Cordelia’s lips parted in surprise. “Oh dear. If he did a better job than me, I’m going to be sorely disappointed.”
That made him laugh. Not just a chuckle but a real honest-to-goodness laugh as his fingers tightened on hers. “You shouldn’t worry. He knows you’re the main attraction. He was just attempting to sweeten the pot.”
She crinkled her brow. “Are we mixing metaphors now? I’m afraid you lost me.”
He brought the back of her hand to his lips and brushed a soft kiss along her skin. Tingling started deep inside her. “My father, unlike yours, was a cruel man who used the rod to make certain I learned his lessons.”
Her breath caught and she rolled up on her side, toward him, their bodies nearly touching. “How awful,” she answered. Without thought, she pressed her forehead to his, rubbing her nose to his. “No child deserves that sort of treatment.”
He closed his eyes, as he pulled her tighter against him. “Do you really mean that?”
“I do,” she said, her brow furrowing. Why would he think he would deserve cruelty from the very man who was supposed to protect him? She drew in a breath to ask when his mouth descended over hers. The kiss was hard and strong, full of passion and hurt, and she wrapped both her arms about his neck. She wanted to take that pain from him.
He rolled onto his back, pulling her onto his chest as he continued kissing her, slanting her mouth open, their tongues dancing together.
When he shifted back, she opened her eyes to see that his were crinkled in pain. “When I am with you, I want to forget my past. Be a new man.”
She ran a finger from his forehead, to his cheek, and down to his chin. “I like the man you are right now.”
He shuddered. “What does that mean?”
Cordelia drew in a deep breath. This was important. “Let’s just say for argument’s sake that we married, a real marriage. Would you object to my career?”
