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At eleven-thirty, Rudy breezed into the office and announced that it was extremely urgent that he see Neil. While Rudy introduced himself to Deja and gave her the third degree on her background, I went to Neil’s door and knocked. I could have called him; it would have been easier, but all day long I’d been desperate to get a moment alone with him. I’d left the iPad on his desk, but people had been in and out of meetings with him all morning. I had no idea if he’d had a chance to look at the surprise new wallpaper image.
“Come in,” he called, and I got my answer almost immediately when I stepped inside.
“Close the door,” he said gruffly, rising from his chair and coming toward me. I did as I was told and popped the lock. When I turned, he was already at my side.
“If things are too intense, or you’re uncomfortable, you can say ‘red’ to stop completely, ‘yellow’ to dial things back a bit.” He whispered beside my ear, so Deja and Rudy wouldn’t hear beyond the door. “Like a traffic light,” he clarified. “Do you understand?”
“I do,” I said breathless, leaning into him.
He dragged me from the door— with a firm grip on both my wrists— to the desk. With a hand clamped on the back of my neck, he bent me over and jerked up my black leather pencil skirt. I wore textured black tights beneath it, and he gripped the crotch of them as he leaned low over my back.
I raised my head just bit and blew a strand of hair out of my mouth. “What does green mean, then?”
I felt his lips curve into a smile against my ear. “It would mean ‘proceed.’ Just like a traffic light, as I said.”
His fingers were twisting the fabric of my tights, and my body was hyper aware of the hard edge of the desk grinding into the fronts of my thighs.
I wriggled a little in his hold and said, “Green.”
Faster than I could anticipate his movement, he ripped the crotch of my tights, found my panties and pushed them aside. When he encountered my wet, willing flesh, he jammed two fingers in roughly, and a strangled sob escaped me.
Calmly, he reached for the phone and dialed the desk outside. “Deja? Tell Rudy I’ll meet him at the car... No, it’s not urgent. ‘Urgent’ is code, he just wants to go for a drink. Tell him I’m on to him, and I’ll be down in five minutes. I have to go over my schedule for the rest of the week with Sophie, I won’t have time later... No, not now. You stay by the phone, Sophie can show you when we’re finished.”
I listened to whole exchange, the air crushed out of me by the desk, my pulse in my ears— and other parts— almost drowning out the sound of their conversation. His fingers stayed still in me, as deep as they would go, until I was fairly certain I’d taken in his knuckles, too. White-hot sparks of mingled pleasure and pain surged through me. I thought I might come from the pressure alone, and wondered how reasonably quiet I could stay if that happened.
He leaned back down and kissed the shell of my ear, tender in contrast his body pinning mine. “I see you enjoyed the gift I sent you.”
I whimpered, trying to rock my hips, to relieve the pressure. He didn’t let me move, but he did slowly circle his fingers inside me.
“And you read the books. You even put notes in the margins.” He sucked my earlobe between his teeth and nibbled. My whole body shuddered. “There was one note in particular that I liked very much. Shall I read it to you?”
I nodded, and held back a mewl of disappointment as he let me up and eased his fingers from my cunt. He picked up the iPad and turned on the screen, then opened the book. “Here, in the section about determining what type of submissive you are...”
My breath caught audibly. He looked up, a small, crooked smile crossing his lips. “You’ve written, ‘yours.’ What do you mean by that, Sophie?”
“I don’t know what else to call it.” I swallowed, and wet my suddenly very dry lips. I could do a lot of things with him that I would have never expected myself capable of doing with another person, but admitting that out loud? I couldn’t even look at him. I would have to work on that. Maybe a time when my stomach didn’t feel absolutely sick with denied desire. “When we’re together, I... I don’t just like to be controlled, I need to be completely controlled. And it isn’t something I’ve wanted with another man, or would want with another man. I want you to dominate me. I don’t want anyone else doing these things to me. Just you. You make me feel things I’ve never imagined feeling. I want more of that. I want to be... yours. Totally under your control. And that scares the hell out of me.”
