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It was brief, but I noticed a hint of annoyance flicker across Rudy’s face. Something was happening there.
Neil continued, “As a fashion institution, Porteras has the opportunity to force some change in an area where it is definitely needed. That’s why, for our February issue, and every issue thereafter, Porteras will not feature any fur, any leather, any product that cannot be described as ‘cruelty-free.’ And we will not feature the work of any designer who includes these elements in his or her collections.”
Murmurs of shock and surprise rippled through the room, and Rudy cleared his throat loudly, waiting for them to die down enough to say, “Mr. Elwood wasn’t finished speaking.”
The silence that fell was like the blade of a guillotine.
“As I was saying.” Neil swept the room with his authoritative gaze. “Porteras is going cruelty-free. Individual departments will be receiving memos detailing specific alterations to policy, but for the most part, these will all be common sense. A word of caution, this is considered privileged information. We will see no blog posts, no tweets, no anonymous tips from industry insiders coming from this office, or you will answer to me personally. If this news breaks before it is officially announced, I will be forced to review each department individually.”
There was a grumble of agreement, as Rudy conferred with Neil quietly. When whatever they were speaking about had been handled, Rudy called out, “I need to see Jake Kirchner and Rosie Bell, the rest of you can get back to work. We’ll be in touch.”
Neil scanned the room, seeking me out, and when our eyes met I had to carefully school my expression. I was sure he’d caught me with my mouth hanging open in shock. He gave me a brief, reassuring smile, then turned to speak with a woman from the copy editing desk who’d approached him.
I walked back to the beauty department on numb legs.
“This can’t be happening,” Jessica said as she followed me through the door.
India was already there, slumped over her desk, her head in her hands.
I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I had sort of seen it coming, but nothing this extreme. “I didn’t think he would actually—”
“Sink the magazine?” India gave a rueful laugh. “It doesn’t matter to him what happens with Porteras. It’s pocket change to him.”
“But all the potential money...” I couldn’t imagine that Neil didn’t see what a huge investment he was throwing away.
Was this all to please Emma?
I thought back to what Jake had said, about Porteras burning up like a dying star. I saw that same desperation in India’s expression now.
“I’ll write you ladies good references,” she promised Jessica and I. Then she reached below her desk and pulled up a bottle. Gran Patron Platinum. She dumped her coffee cup into the potted palm behind her desk, poured a shot, and said, “How about a toast?”
That was when it really began to sink in. Porteras had hit the iceberg, and she was going down. Whether her captain would acknowledge it was another problem altogether.
Chapter Seventeen
The new Elwood & Stern helmed Porteras hit stands on the first Monday of December. The snarky Tumblr posts starting hit the internet that night.
Neil wanted to take me out on Friday to celebrate the new issue. By the time I left work that evening, I’d spent five long days listening to whispered retellings of unhappy emails and terse meetings behind closed doors.
I didn’t know if I should bring up my concerns with Neil. We had only been seeing each other a couple months. While we spent more time together than I think either of us had planned initially, things were still quite casual. I wasn’t sure how much I could really talk to him about the magazine.
Of course, work came up often, but usually in the context of Neil asking me how I was getting on in the department. Once, he’d asked me what I thought of a feature he was considering cutting, but I’d quickly shut him down.
“I don’t want to have that kind of access to Neil, my boss, just because I’m spending time with Neil, the guy I’m having sex with,” I’d explained, and he’d agreed that was probably a good idea.
The thing was, as much as I loved Neil— and I did love him, there was no chance of denying that now— I was supposed to love myself more. I owed it to myself to protect my interests, didn’t I? So, did I bring up the changes at Porteras, and how badly I expected them to go? Despite what I’d told him about boundaries?
We never left work in the same car, because we weren’t dumb. That would have been the easiest way to get found out. Instead, I waited for him to text me that he’d left, and followed in a cab. We would take his car back to his place at the end of the night. Since our first sleepover, I’d spent every weekend with him, but we rarely went out, opting instead to stay in and eat whatever Neil cooked. He was a great cook, but I was looking forward to a real date, even if it was a dinner with Rudy.
