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“Call him,” Valerie urged, and it didn’t sound like the first time she’d suggested it. Was that why he was so angry when I’d come downstairs? “I’m sure if you talk to him—”
“Talking to him never did any good for me before!” he shouted. Neil didn’t like losing control in front of people. This seemed to be shaking him up more than it should. Not that I knew how upset one should be when discovering that their former lover was writing a tell-all about them. But a cold chill crept up my back, a feeling that this wasn’t all about our upcoming wedding and how my family might view him.
My stomach turned over. I think I knew what was upsetting Neil. Pure horror replaced the blood flowing through my heart at the thought that I might be right.
I stood up abruptly. “Thank you, Valerie, for letting us know about this. Neil will be in touch.”
She didn’t even acknowledge me. “Neil, do you want me to go?”
My back teeth ground. This was my house, too. I could kick her out if I wanted to.
Before Neil could answer, I said, “We need to have some time alone to discuss this. How long will you be in London?”
“I’ll be here through the week.” She sounded bewildered that I would presume to make a decision for Neil.
“We’re leaving the day after tomorrow. If we need anything, we’ll call.” I wasn’t mean, but firm. I had to talk to Neil right away, and I didn’t want Valerie to be here for this conversation.
She stood awkwardly and reached for the black wool coat she’d tossed over the other armchair. “Neil, you will call me, won’t you?”
He turned from the window. “Of course I will. At the moment, though, it sounds as though you have things in hand.”
As I walked her to the door, I coul
d tell that she really did feel badly over what was happening. She cared about Neil—more than I was comfortable with, that was for sure—and I understood feeling helpless and wanting to help at the same time. But, aside from the business aspect and her possible intervention with her brother, this wasn’t about her and Neil. It wasn’t even about me and Neil. It was about Neil and Stephen, and I was pretty sure I knew exactly what had happened between them.
When Valerie was gone, I went back to the sitting room. Neil wasn’t there. I went to the kitchen and found him already finishing off one of Michael’s beers.
“Hey,” I said cautiously. “You know it’s, like, one, right?”
He grimaced and set the empty bottle on the counter. “It’s not before noon, Sophie. And I am in no mood.”
“You seem really upset,” I began, wondering how I would broach the subject if he was “in no mood.” I leaned against the refrigerator and crossed my arms. I didn’t say anything when he opened the beverage cooler and pulled out a bottle of red wine.
At least it wasn’t whiskey, although I was sure that would come into play at some point later.
“I am upset.” He paused to twist the corkscrew in. “Please don’t patronize me, Sophie. Anyone would be upset at this news.”
I nodded in agreement. “But you seem…shaken. Is there anything you want to tell me that you couldn’t say to me in front of Valerie?”
The look he gave me was one of dark understanding. I knew, without having to ask. But I did, anyway. “Neil, was Stephen the Dom who raped you?”
He made a noise of disgust. “Don’t use that word. It’s so melodramatic.”
“Fine. Was he the Dom who wouldn’t stop?” I didn’t know why he felt there was a distinction between the two. “He was, wasn’t he?”
He took a wine glass from the dishwasher and filled it. “He was.”
I was pretty sure the feeling in my chest was what it felt like to get shot with a paintball gun at close range. “He can’t do this,” I blurted, as though saying it would undo it.
“He can.” Neil swallowed half the wine in his glass in one gulp. “Stephen never admitted to any wrongdoing.”
“But, if he writes about it, people will know—”
“Do you believe he’ll write about my experience, or his?” Neil demanded. “Stephen believes he’s an excellent Dom. He never believed his behavior was abusive. He told me the problem was that I was naturally dominant, and I didn’t understand what it was like to be submissive.”
Neil’s hand shook as he lifted the glass again.
I didn’t know the specific details about what had happened. If Neil wanted to tell me, I would listen. But I wouldn’t press him, right now.
