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“Hey, guys!”
I forced myself to peel one eye open. Penny bopped into the room on a wave of energy and sickly-sweet shampoo scent. She gestured over her shoulder. “I made coffee!”
“How the hell are you conscious?” It wasn’t an observation. I was begging her to tell me, so I could do whatever it was she’d done.
“Yeah,” Holli added. “It’s only like… It’s only…”
“It’s eleven-thirty,” Penny said with a disbelieving scoff. “Come on, I thought you guys were party animals or something.”
Deja struggled to her feet, one arm across her stomach in a desperate half-hug. “Did you not see us partying?”
“Yeah, but I thought you would bounce back better. You’ve all got way more experience than I do.” She giggled.
“Oh, no.” Holli sat up at the other end of the couch and shielded her eyes with her hand. “Guys. She’s twenty-two.”
Holli, Deja, and I groaned in unison. Something weird seemed to have happened to Holli and me when we hit twenty-six. It was like someone had flipped the alcohol switch on our brains. I’d sensed it happening the last time we’d been in Vegas, but nothing like this. Deja, thirty-two and wiser, had mocked us when we’d gotten back and warned us that our partying days were nearly at an end.
Why she hadn’t taken her own advice the night before, I didn’t know, but I bet she regretted it.
“Look, you guys are going to be no fun at all tonight if you’re like this,” Penny scolded. “We need to get you guys some orange juice and ibuprofen.”
“We need to get us some B12 shots and massages.” I tilted my head back to look at her. “I don’t want to treat you like an assistant when we’re not at work, but you’re the only person in this room who isn’t suffering from alcohol poisoning.”
Not that she hadn’t tried. To our utter delight, Penny had drunk us under the table the night before. After we’d gotten back from Tao at four in the morning and barely made it to our beds, she’d stayed up, bowling on the mini lane in the suite.
“Yeah, sure thing,” she promised. “You want me to order some room service?”
“Tell them to send everything.” Holli flopped back and buried her face in throw pillows. Then, in a paraphrased imitation of Gary Oldman in The Professional, she reiterated loudly, “Everything!”
“Indoor voice!” Deja barked.
Though I’d initially been reluctant about Penny coming along, now, I couldn’t be more thankful that she had. The concierge hooked us up with a doctor who made hotel calls and got us our B12 shots—apparently not an unusual request to fulfill—and a big enough room service breakfast that even Holli was stuffed, and some gorgeous male massage therapists showed up to work our muscles with their big, strong hands. It was a shame they were totally legit.
When evening rolled around, our partying was definitely more subdued than our first night. We ended up in the suite’s hot tub at around one in the morning, drinking champagne and exchanging dirty anecdotes.
“Okay, so I was with this one chick,” Deja said, already dissolving into mortified laughter. “And it’s my very first time using a strap-on. And I am, like, not coordinated at all—”
“No, she is not,” Holli interjected.
“Anyway,” Deja rolled her eyes at her wife. “I get the thing on, and it’s really weird, you know? Just suddenly having this dick to account for. I’m trying to get into position, and I’m jabbing her thighs and accidentally slapping the damn thing everywhere, but I wanted her to think, you know, this chick knows what’s up, so I’m all, ‘Oh, baby, I’m going to make this so good for you, I’m gonna make you come so hard.’ And, then, I go to put it in and I totally missed the V and slipped it right into the A.”
“No!” I shrieked, covering my face.
“Guys do that all the time, though,” Holli reasoned, clearly trying to comfort Deja.
“I don’t know if that’s a pass. We’re women. We’re supposed to know where the V is.” I half-turned, reaching behind me to pour another class of Cristal. Cliché, yeah, but so was a Vegas bachelorette party.
Penny snorted. “See, this is the kind of thing that makes me glad I’ve never had sex.”
The rest of us fell so silent it was like we’d gone from bachelorette party to SAT testing room in an instant.
“What?” Penny asked, lifting one shoulder from the water in a shrug. “I’m a virgin.”
“How?” Holli blurted. “How can you be a virgin?”
“Because I’ve never had sex.” She looked each of us in the eyes in turn, her expression incredulous. “It’s not that weird. I’m only twenty-two.”
“Yeah, you’re twenty-two,” Holli repeated back to her. “I didn’t mean ‘how does the concept of virginity work?’ I’m asking how the hell you’ve survived this long without succumbing to the urging of your loins.” When we all turned our confusion on Holli, she sat up straighter, defensive. “Excuse me, but I’m reading a lot of early eighties historical romance lately, and it’s none of your business.”
