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“Actually, a woman Sophie’s age is at a higher risk of death from pregnancy complications than diabetes.” Dr. Robinson frowned slightly. “I’m concerned as to how long this has been going on. I noticed that you have a family history…but you haven’t noticed any symptoms?”
“Like what?” Despite that family history, I wasn’t thoroughly acquainted with the disease.
Dr. Robinson spread his hands as he listed the symptoms, studying my face for recognition. “Weight gain? Fatigue? Frequent urination, excessive thirst?”
“Well, the fatigue, sure, but I’ve been busy and I have a really long commute,” I said with a shrug. “Oh, and I do have to pee all the time, but that’s because I drink a lot of water.”
He waited silently for me to have some sort of revelation. It took way longer than it should have.
“Ah, crap.” I hung my head. “So, there’s no chance, then. My kidneys are useless.”
“I’m sorry. I know this must be a disappointment—” Dr. Robinson began.
Neil raised his hands as though to settle down a room full of people. His confused frown squinted his eyes and made little vertical wrinkles between his brow. “Now, wait, wait a moment. I’d like to revisit the very serious medical condition my wife has that, apparently, neither of you are interested in.”
“Sophie is going to need to see her GP as soon as possible,” Dr. Robinson explained patiently. “But obviously, yes, this is something to be concerned about. It can’t be ignored. Until you can visit your doctor, I’d say avoid excessive carbs and sugar; there’s a dietary list I can provide for you.”
Yikes. I’d gone to the Cheesecake Factory less than twenty-four hours before.
I could deal with that later. “But what happens to Molly?”
“She stays on the list until we find a donor.” Though I knew it was all Dr. Robinson could give me, it wasn’t enough. I wanted him to tell me that Molly would definitely get the kidney she needed. I wanted him to look her in the eye and tell her she would be—
Oh, no.
“How do you…” I cleared my throat. I didn’t want to cry in this poor man’s office. He probably saw enough of that. “How do you tell her? Or do I? What’s the protocol?”
“I’ll tell her and her mother. You don’t have to worry about that,” he assured us.
But I still felt like I should do it. Because I was the one who’d failed.
We thank Dr. Robinson for his time and headed straight out of the building to the car, Neil clutching the diabetes pamphlets like they were crucial counterintelligence documents. We only spoke once we were inside.
“Sophie, I’m so sorry,” Neil said, his face still ashen from the shock. “You must be so frightened.”
“I’m not.” I shook my head stubbornly. “You said we could figure out how to get Molly her kidney. We’ll figure it out. Ethically, though. No shady, Craigslist, bathtub full of ice—”
“Not that!” he snapped. “Sophie, you’ve just found out you have a potentially deadly disease!”
“Oh.” Yeah. That. “No, I know it’s serious. I just don’t see the point in getting worked up before I talk to my doctor. This is a little bit more immediately overwhelming. I can only handle being overwhelmed by one thing at a time.”
“I’m not sure that’s how being overwhelmed is actually defined,” he grumbled. “I want to get you back to New York, right away, and directly to your doctor’s office.”
“We’ll go back when we go back,” I ground out. “I’m not going to just be like, ‘Hey, tough luck about your kidney, kid,’ and take off!”
“Sophie, this is your life we’re talking about!” Neil shouted.
“And it’s my sister’s life I’m talking about!”
We stared at each other in heated silence. He was the first to break, looking away with a noise of disgust.
I sat back and faced the window. I knew Neil was just trying to take care of me, the way I rarely remembered to take care of myself. And I knew he was frightened. In his mind, me being in anything other than perfect health would be an acknowledgment of my mortality. It was cruel to give him the silent treatment when we could clear all of it up with a few kind words, but his easy dismissal of Molly’s predicament made me feel pretty unkind in the moment. We drove back to the hotel in silence. He held the door for me at the lobby entrance and asked if I wanted lunch. I shook my head, and we went to the elevators.
“Sasha said their appointment was at three,” Neil said quietly when the doors closed. “You’ll want to see them when they come back, I assume.”
“Yes.” Of course I would. I couldn’t disappoint Molly and run. And I wanted to make sure that I would see them all, again. And I wanted to promise them it would all be okay.
