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It came out on a sudden breath, far too fast and painfully clumsy: “I need some time to think about it.” I hated knowing that she’d hoped for another answer. “I just have to…protect myself.”
Travis frowned and held up a hand then let it fall in disbelief. “From what?”
Neil made a noise, as though he were about to leap to my defense but backed off just in time.
“I have to protect my emotions.” I wouldn’t budge on this. Of all the times I needed to be my own best friend, it was now. “I know you guys are going through a lot, but please understand that I am, too. Imagine spending your whole life trying to figure out why your father didn’t love his daughter, and then, you find out that, yeah. He did. Just not you.”
“That isn’t Molly’s fault!” Travis snapped.
“Excuse me!” Neil’s voice rose. His patience with Travis had run out. “You are here asking my wife for a piece of her body. The least you could do is show some consideration for her feelings.”
“We’re here asking her to save her sister’s life!” Travis shot back. “The least you could do is treat it like an emergency and not some fancy fucking dinner party!”
He pushed his chair back and threw his napkin down, storming from the room.
Susan looked between the two of us with the desperate expression of someone deciding whether or not to jump from a burning building. If she followed her husband, she walked out on a chance at saving her sister’s life.
“He’s right,” I said quickly. “It isn’t her fault. And it isn’t yours. And I’m not going to punish your family for the choices your father made. No matter what I ultimately decide, we’ll pay for the cost of the transplant. Or whatever insurance doesn’t cover.” I shot a look to Neil, to silence him in case he had something angry to add. “It’s the least I can do.”
“The least you could do is nothing, which is what Travis expected.” Susan closed her eyes. “I am so sorry.”
“Not at all,” Neil said, though he didn’t offer an apology for his reaction. “Emotions are running high.”
“I’d better go after him,” she said, her face flushing brighter. “And after you’ve gone to so much trouble.”
I waved my hand. “Don’t worry about it. Maybe we could meet, again, just you and I? Before you go back to Michigan.”
She hesitated “I…I’ll be in touch, okay?”
“Sure. I’ll walk you out.” I stressed the “I” so Neil would know I didn’t want him to come with me, and accompanied Susan out to the foyer. Travis waited in the entryway, but he hadn’t called the elevator, yet. He appeared somewhat subdued, at least.
“Look, I’m sorry,” he said quickly, but it was disingenuous. He wasn’t sorry. He was pissed off at us. Probably because I seemed so cavalier about the life of someone he loved.
“Don’t worry about it.” I didn’t want to hear whatever justification he would tack on next. “You guys just have a safe trip back to the hotel, okay?”
“Thank you,” Susan said to me. She barely acknowledged Travis. I wasn’t a psychic, but I could predict angry words in that hotel room tonight. “And thank you for your generous offer.”
“Would you like us to call you a car?” I asked, hoping they would decline. I didn’t want to try and make small talk while we waited for it to arrive, now that everything had blown up.
“We’ll be fine,” Travis said tersely.
“I’ll be in touch,” I repeated her words back to her, hit the elevator button, and waited in stilted silence until the doors opened and they got inside.
Back in the dining room, Neil was directing the caterers to clean up the place settings. He glanced at me when I entered, then away, then back, sheepishly. “Sophie, I am so sorry. And embarrassed of my behavior. I shouldn’t have let my anger—”
“Nah.” I shook my head. I was too emotionally exhausted to be pissed off, and he wouldn’t have been the target, anyway. “He was a prick. Acting all entitled to my organs.”
“Susan was lovely,” Neil was quick to interject. “And she seems understanding.”
I didn’t want to talk about it in front of the strangers clearing up our suddenly canceled dinner. It was humiliating. “Look, I’m still hungry. Can you tell them to just leave the food?”
“Of course, I’ll have them leave it in the kitchen.” Neil’s brow furrowed. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah. I just need a minute to be…not in here.”
I headed for the bedroom. There were so many places I could go in the house, but this was my sanctuary. It still felt like the only place in the apartment that was really mine, even though I shared it with Neil. I flopped onto the couch and grabbed the remote, clicking on the television. It didn’t matter what was on; I wouldn’t be watching, anyway. I just needed artificial noise to drown out reality while I worked out my feelings.
