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He made a noise of disagreement. “We haven’t truly recreated the magic of that night if my testicles are still on the outside of my body.”
I giggled and moved my hand down to cup him through his soft, worn jeans. “Nope, you’re right, they’re still there. Not as cold.”
He tightened his arm around me. “But just as romantic.”
“Was Neil really mad?” I asked quietly. I was angry with my mother, but I wasn’t sure if I could handle Neil being as mad at her as I expected he would get. I would feel like I had to defend my mom from him, and that would really hinder my own being angry.
El-Mudad took a breath and held it, briefly. “He was furious. But perhaps he will be calmer by the time he arrives.”
“Probably. But then he’ll get all worked up, again.” I sighed. “When that happens, and when I inevitably start defending my mom, can you go ahead and remind me that I’m being dumb?”
“No. I won’t tell you that you’re dumb,” El-Mudad said. “But I will remind you that she said some hurtful things if you’d like me to.”
“That would be great.” It was like I needed permission to be angry or something, and I couldn’t give that to myself.
By the time Neil got home, El-Mudad and I had both wholly sacked out right there on the balcony. Somehow, Neil found his way to us.
“This doesn’t look like the frantic scene I expected to find,” he said in greeting.
El-Mudad startled awake, but I was slower to come around, opening one eye to look up. When my head cleared, I kicked my way free of the blankets and shot to my feet. I rushed to Neil, and his arms were already open. He crushed me in a tight hug and murmured, “Sophie, I’m so sorry.”
And I cried.
I don’t know why it was his presence that broke me. Maybe because I’d felt so protective of El-Mudad in the argument with my mother that I hadn’t been able to be weak in front of him afterward? I sobbed in Neil’s arms, while over the top of my head he asked El-Mudad, “Has she been this upset the whole time?”
“No. I think we were exhausted from the conflict and now that we’re rested, our emotions have clicked back on.” His tone was hard. Angry. “Because right now, I’m where you were when I spoke to you on the phone.”
“I don’t blame you. It’s probably a very good thing that I wasn’t here, or I would have had security escort her off the property.”
I could physically hear Neil’s jaw clench.
He went on, “What on earth could Rebecca have been thinking?”
“Barging in without knocking that way?” El-Mudad asked.
“That was to be expected. It was really only a matter of time,” Neil answered grimly. “I mean the other things she said.”
I lifted my head. “Oh, you mean about having to ‘deal’ with me being bi? Or having to ‘deal’ with that fact I married you?”
“Well, now she has to deal with the fact that her husband knew about us this whole time,” El-Mudad said.
Neil’s posture stiffened. Which, for a guy like Neil, was pretty impressive since he was usually wound pretty tight as a default. “What do you mean?”
“I told her. That Tony knew. I mean, I implied it. No. No, I actually said it.” Dread curled in my stomach. “Oh my god. I did it again.”
“Did what?” El-Mudad asked.
Neil didn’t have to wonder. He already knew my history with my mom’s boyfriends.
I stepped back and pressed my hand to my temple. “Oh my god. I did it again. I sabotaged their relationship.”
“You didn’t sabotage anything,” Neil said firmly. “Tony couldn’t tell her, even if he’d wanted to. He signed an NDA as part of his employment.”
“But she’s going to argue that you’re family and you wouldn’t sue family,” I reminded him. “She’s never going to believe—“
“That I would ever do anything unethical or immoral?” he finished for me. “After what she knows now?”
My heart sank. I’d tried so hard to get my mother to love Neil as much as I did. This had all undone it. To fix things, he would have to destroy it even more.
If the situation were a tangled Slinky, Neil was about to take a pair of wire cutters to it.
“You’ll talk to her, then?” El-Mudad asked him.
Neil nodded. “Yes. I’ll make it clear to her that it wasn’t Tony’s fault for keeping this from her. And I have a few other choice words I’d like to say, as well.”
“Please, don’t fight,” I begged him. “Things are so messed up right now. I just want you to save their relationship and then hopefully there will be a fucking wedding here in June, and after that, she’ll never have to set foot on the property or speak to her daughter ever again.”
