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“I wouldn’t have let you go. If I had to spend every day on this earth proving to you how much I love you, I’d gladly do it.”
“I want to know everything. Start with the sonogram and tell me what you’ve been holding inside.”
“Baby, we’ve got time. Tonight is about us, reuniting, and me convincing you to forgive me.”
“I know, Shaw, but I’m still hurt. I think hearing your feelings will help me purge. Part of me wants to drag you to my room and demand you make me forget, but that’s not going to salve the pain. Only you can do that.”
“Then what happens?”
A sexy grin forms on her lips. “Tomorrow, we leave it all behind, and we wake up on Christmas morning together. Something I’ve wanted forever.”
There’s no resentment or anger anymore, only pure sincerity and compassion. All the guilt from the last few weeks threatens to explode, but it’s no longer guilt of loving my child with another woman. It’s remorse for thinking that Bizzy couldn’t handle it.
Chapter 29
Shaw
Hot tingles shoot through my arm to the point of pain, but I don’t dare move. Bizzy sleeps peacefully, her body tangled around mine, and the thought of waking her overrides the stinging.
We didn’t come to bed until almost four a.m., most of the night spent with me explaining every day since I left here. She listened intently, only interrupting when she wanted to go off on a tirade in irritation about Sasha. My heart swelled with more love at the countless times she showed her loyalty and devotion.
With each mention of my son, her face lit up with a small amount of excitement. She explained it was because of my enthusiasm.
She makes a little noise under her breath and slaps her hair out of her face, rolling to her other side.
Blood rushes through my arm, pinpricks beating as the flow returns. She leans up, looking around, and smiles when she sees me lying there. Then she beats her pillow and plops face down, back asleep immediately.
I watch her back rise and fall, really happy she’s wearing my shirt and nothing else. As soon as I lifted it over my head last night, she snagged it, stripped naked, slid it on, and crawled into bed.
It’s a small gesture, one she’s repeated many times since we became a couple in July, but this time, it took on a different meaning. I found my pajama bottoms exactly where I left them and felt a rush of happiness that she hadn’t changed anything since I left. It was exactly the same. I still had clothes in the closet, my toiletries by the sink, and the drawers stuffed.
Carefully, I get out of the bed and go to the bathroom. I stop dead when I catch my reflection in the mirror. For the first time in forever, I’m able to look at myself without disgust and resentment. My eyes are clear, the dark circles fading. There’s some color in my cheeks that’s been missing. However, I notice my beard is seriously overgrown and needs shaping.
I peek back at Bizzy to make sure she’s still sleeping soundly then turn on the shower, ready to start my Christmas morning.
After I’m done with my routine, I feel like a new man. I dress back in my flannel pajama pants and find a piece of paper, scribbling a note to Bizzy for when she wakes up, and lay it on my pillow.
B-
If you wake up before I get back in bed:
Don’t leave this room-
Don’t get curious-
Don’t try and be sneaky-
Rest, relax, and wait for me…
All my love
S
I find everything I need in the kitchen and start making Bizzy’s favorite breakfast, and once again, thank Claire in my head for having all the ingredients stocked. Without knowing I was coming to Charlotte, she made every effort to have food Bizzy loves in the apartment. When I’m almost done, I hear the water in the bathroom running and hurry to finish, expecting her to disobey me and walk in any second.
There’s a rustling sound then a familiar squeak I recognize as she gets back in bed. I load the tray with food and smile to myself. Today is all about her, and this is the first of many surprises.
She’s propped up on her pillows when I enter with the tray in my hands, watching the door. Her eyes grow wide and start to shine when she sees the stack of chocolate chip pancakes.
