AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Without saying the words, he’s let me know I’m not a challenge he’s willing to take on.
“Claire, I can’t read you right now. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Finally, after twenty-two years, I’ve found my poker face. “I’m thinking you should probably get going before someone realizes you’re missing from the hotel.”
He glances at his watch and sighs, scrubbing his hands through his hair. I decide I can’t watch him get dressed and stand in the same room as he prepares to leave. It’s too much. I go to my bathroom and shut the door, turning on the water to splash my face. Tears burn my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall because it’s my stupidity that got me into this position in the first place. Mathis never promised me anything. It was me who fabricated a future that wasn’t meant to be. A few minutes pass, and I know it’s time to get this over with.
He’s staring at the door when I open it, but I don’t meet his eyes; instead, I pass by him, leaving my room. Once I get to the front door, he’s on me, yanking my back to his front.
“Don’t let us end like this.” His breath coats my earlobe, and I swallow hard to ease the scorching in my throat.
I squirm out of his hold, backing away because I can’t control it anymore. “You wanted to know what I was thinking, so I’ll tell you, and then you need to leave. I graduated from college yesterday with my two best friends and was surrounded by the people I love most in this world. I was flying high and couldn’t wait to share the plans for my next steps. When I announced I was going to work in Pediatric Oncology, my parents’ eyes welled up with tears. They were so proud. Then I glanced at you and my heart splintered. You looked at Bizzy with such pride and love and at me with only indifference. I convinced myself tonight would be a private celebration, that you were putting on a blank face for the crowd, but I was wrong. Now, I know you don’t want me in any way. You don’t want people to know about us, you don’t want to take a step forward, and now you don’t even want to work with me. Regardless of the reasoning behind your decision, you didn’t even give us a chance. I wasn’t going to walk into my first day at the hospital and announce you were a taken man, but you assumed our working together would be detrimental to your career. It hurt.”
“None of that is true.” He speaks softly, trying to placate me.
“I will say this. It may not have made sense to me until this minute, but you did the right thing keeping us a secret. This way, the people we’re close to aren’t dragged into a nasty break-up. No one takes sides, no one is forced to pretend—it’s an easy
split, considering not one person knows we’ve been fucking for almost a year!”
His face falls. Regret, shame, and remorse fill his eyes, and I begin to backpedal as the first tear slides down my cheek.
“Don’t worry, Dr. Mathis, I won’t be a thorn in your side. After tonight, we’ll never speak of this again.”
I turn and rush to my room, slamming the door and locking it. Silently, I sob, shaking uncontrollably and shuffling to my bed.
Tonight, I’ll allow myself to grieve for a man who doesn’t want me and a relationship that never existed. Tomorrow, I’ll start my new life, and Mathis Bennett will never know how I allowed myself to fall helplessly, head-over-ass, crazy-out-of-my mind in love with him.
Chapter 1
Claire
4 1/2 Years Later
The bed dips beside me, but I’m too exhausted to move. It feels like days since I’ve slept, and I have no plans to wake until the alarm blasts.
“Baby, I’m back.” Mathis kisses my cheek and presses close.
The heat of his naked body envelops me, but I have no energy to even act on our normal greeting when we’ve been apart for days.
“Mmmhmm.” I snuggle in, slipping deeper into dreamland.
“Claire, roll over and give me a kiss.”
“No, I’m sleeping.”
“How long have you been home?” he asks, not caring about my declaration of sleep.
“What time is it?”
“Late or early, depending on how you look at it.”
“Where am I?”
He rolls, taking me with him until I’m situated on his chest. “You don’t know where you are?”
“I have a few guesses,” I mumble. “Your condo, my apartment, the nurses’ lounge, or Bizzy’s guestroom.”
He stiffens, and his heart rate increases under my cheek. “We’re at my condo.”
