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Brad walks back in, and I take the time to get a good look at him. His khaki shorts, pink polo, and loafers scream country club. Fucking pink. You’d never guess this guy was a drug dealing shithead.
“Like I said, I’ve been waiting for this day. How’s Ember?” He looks at Thad nervously.
“You don’t get to ask about her. You’re lucky you’re even standing,” I snarl and watch his eyes widen.
“Why am I standing? I deserve whatever you’re thinking.”
“You have a fucking kid?” It comes out as a question.
“She and my wife are the best thing that ever happened to me after Ember left. I don’t deserve any of the blessings I have in my life, but for some reason, God gave me another chance.”
“God? Did you bring God into this conversation after the shit you did?” Finn growls.
Brad sinks to the sofa and runs his hands over his face. When he looks back up, his expression is filled with misery. For a second, I question if he’s about to cry.
“I can only imagine what you think or what you’ve been told, but yes. I thank God each and every day. Believe it or not, Ember Walker saved me. Because of her, I took a step back and re-evaluated my life. Two weeks after she disappeared, I got clean. Getting the drugs out of my system was easy compared to removing them from my life all together.
“There were a lot of people that wanted to pull me back into the fold. My family helped as much as they could, but there was a lot to prove. Then I met my wife. She taught me to move on and forgive myself. The only way for her to truly love me and understand my mistakes was to tell her everything. It was the hardest part.”
“That’s a really great fucking story about your path to redemption, but excuse me if I still think you’re a sick pedophile. My daughter has lived thinking she’s filthy for five years.” Thad’s tone is low as he glares at Brad.
“She’s not filthy. She’s the purest person I know. She’s kind, caring, and compassionate. Her vibrancy made me want to stay sober. The weekend with her, I lived in a world of beauty. She made me laugh. Everyone knew how badly Natalie treated her. She bragged about it openly, but it made me sick.”
“So sick you bartered with her mother to protect Natalie?”
“I was so messed up. They convinced me that Ember had a crush on me. Natalie knew my weaknesses and offered her sister in exchange for the debt she racked up. It was completely not my style, but Ember was intriguing. I know you all hate me, and I hurt her deeply. My own self-loathing infects me daily, but, truthfully, if it wasn’t for her, I’d be dead.”
“How the hell can you say that after what you did?”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like it did. No one told me she was a virgin. I thought she was into the whole thing. To me, it was a regular hook up. The minute she walked through my door, I knew she was special. The differences between her and her sister were tremendous. She didn’t have a cold and manipulating bone in her body. She was genuine. We spent the weekend together, and my mind was made up that I was going to tell Natalie and Serena to keep their mouths shut. Ember never needed to know.
“The morning Natalie showed up at my house, she knew instantly something was different. I forced her to the backyard to keep from waking Ember. The only way I could keep her from going into the house and causing a scene was to keep her happy. We did some lines of coke. One thing led to another, and I woke up naked next to Natalie.
“It’s one of my biggest regrets. Believe it or not, I went to see Ember to apologize, but discovered she moved. Natalie was pissed beyond belief. She refused to tell me where Ember went.
“I did a four month program and then went
back to Natalie, asking about Ember. She laughed in my face. In my therapy sessions, we discussed a lot about people we hurt. The one person I talked about the most was Ember. My counselor finally had me admit that I wanted to be a man worthy of her. I’d never felt that way before. Drugs and alcohol were the only constants in my life. Finally, my eyes were open to the disgusting thing I’d done. Many nights, I sat and remembered the sound of her laugh, or the way she blushed when she was embarrassed. She was so innocent.”
It’s my turn to growl, listening to him. He locks eyes with mine and then looks to the ground.
“My wife and I volunteer with at risk youth to try to veer them from the path that owned my life. Our church does a spotlight every year on regrets and redemption. Each time, I tell my story, trying to cleanse the remorse for so many things. When we found out we were having a girl, I spent a week in NA meetings, petrified I’d slip as the pain and memories flooded me. Not only for Ember, but also for all my sins along the way.”
“This fucker’s not going to pay, is he?” Finn says and then blows a loud breath, looking at me.
I reluctantly shake my head and listen to Thad curse under his breath.
“You’re wrong. I pay everyday.” Brad gets up and goes to the side table. His keys jingle as he removes a small gold rope chain. “Ember left this in her rush to leave. I’ve kept it with me as a reminder, but I’d like to return it. It won’t mean much, but please tell her that I’m sorry. Thank her for saving me.”
I reach out and take the chain, wishing like hell I could punch the hell out of him. “Like you’ve said, you’ve had years. Why didn’t you find her and apologize? Even if Natalie wouldn’t tell you, it’s easy to locate people nowadays.”
“Oh, I’ve known where she is. Out of respect, I stayed away. But can I ask you a favor?”
“My favor is refraining from beating your ass for hurting the woman I love.”
“I wrote her several letters. It started as therapeutic, but then I relied on it. Can you give them to her? Maybe she’ll understand how screwed up I was.”
“No. As one last show of mercy, I want you to keep them, and if you’re ever faced with temptation, hopefully they’ll help. I’ll explain you’re a changed man. Knowing her, she’ll forgive you.”
