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“But if you encourage him...”
“I have been!” I say. “I don’t know how things would work or if they even would, but I can’t have him give this up on account of me. Not in good conscience.”
“But at the end of the day, it is his decision,” Josie says softly.
I snort. “And he’s making the wrong one. I can’t let him do that.”
A pause as Josie eyes me steadily. “What are you going to do?”
I sit up, then flop back down on the bench again. “I don’t know.”
“Well, if I remember correctly, Emerson’s as stubborn as all the other Storm boys,” Josie says ruefully. “So, you have your work cut out for you.”
“I know.”
“And are you sure you even want to do this? I mean, the man is basically treating you like a queen, with all signs that treatment will continue once you get home. This was your first love, Wynona.”
“My only love,” I correct her. “But here’s the thing. Sometimes if you love someone, you have to do what’s best for them instead of what’s best for you. Even if they don’t want you to.”
A pause, then Josie’s suspicious voice. “Have you finally started secretly reading those self-help books I gave you?”
I roll my eyes. “Nope. Just something I learned from my sister, you could say.”
“You mean what I told you about what Emerson did when he... ah. Oh. Well.”
“I owe it to him,” I say. “He did the same for me. He did what was best for me, even when I didn’t want him to.”
“Well,” Josie says after a pause.
A longer pause.
“That’s it?” I say.
“That’s it,” she says. “I’m not sure there’s any point in arguing with you.”
“Because I’m right?”
“Because I don’t know,” she says before exhaling. “You know you’re risking a lot if you stand your ground on this, don’t you?”
“I risk a lot anyway,” I say softly. “Anyway, Jos. Remember that woo-woo thing I told you was stupid a few years back when you tried advising me to use it?”
Josie’s voice is very unimpressed. “You mean intuition?”
“Yeah, that. Well, I’m having a kick from it. Like the gods are giving me a nudge or something. So, I’m going to go for it.”
“Well.” Josie chuckles. “I’m not going to argue with that.”
I chuckle too. “Good. Anyway, when I get back, I’ll go talk some sense into Emerson. You’ll see.”
Josie just lifts her eyebrows and smiles.
Talking some sense into Emerson does not go at all how I’d like.
Maybe I should’ve given it more time. Maybe I should’ve written a draft of my reasons and what I was going to do beforehand like I did sometimes for tricky conversations with long-term clients—like one who, for unknown reasons, was one hundred percent dead-set on getting a penis tattooed onto his face. Maybe I should’ve waited for that elusive perfect time and place that doesn’t seem to exist outside of movie studios and mood lighting.
We’re cuddling in bed and so cozy, and everything is so very nice, that I have to. I have to settle it so I can enjoy myself fully.
That’s another major difference between Josie and me, always has been. When there’s something I’m dreading to do, something I’m putting off, I carry it with me.
“Emerson,” I say, “I know you don’t want to talk about the tour, but I want you to go.”
His whole body stiffens. “I’m not going. End of discussion.”
I sit up straight. “I can’t let you do this. I’d never forgive myself.”
His white teeth are clenched, his blue eyes fiery. “And I’d never forgive myself if I left you now, of all times.”
His words travel straight through me, just about rub my heart.
God, I could kiss him for saying something a lot less sweet than that.
But right now, it’s not time for feeling touched and going soft. I can’t let this just drop.
“By the time you come back, I’ll still have a few more months before I give birth, and—”
“It’s not just about that.” He scowls.
“What is it about, then?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Not going to say it again.”
I take his hand. “Hey, I’m not the same person I was then. I’ve got a great job, friends, a life of my own. I won’t fall apart when you’re gone.”
But Emerson just lets me hold his hand, doesn’t hold it back. He looks at me hard. “Don’t you see, though, that there will always be something else? If this goes well, there will be another, bigger tour after this that will pay five times as much and have me performing for the Queen. If we start going down this road, this road where I choose music over you, there may be no going back.”
His powerful shoulders tense as he shakes his head. “Momentum’s like that. Once you have it, you’d be a fool to throw it away. A tour like this, and what comes after, it could last years, half a decade. I’m not willing to spend that or anywhere near that away from you.”
