Page 12 of When You Became Mine

It was the day of Lawson’s party, a week after graduation, and we were all saying farewell. He hadn’t wanted a party, but our moms had insisted we needed to celebrate. I secretly thought they were both just desperate for a distraction. They were right, of course. This was a huge accomplishment for Lawson. It wasn’t fair to him that his success was being overshadowed by loss.

But the party was less than festive, and even though they tried, our mothers had quickly retreated to a bedroom with a couple of bottles of wine to commiserate the changes our families were facing.

I was sitting alone outside on the front porch, the opposite side of the house where the party was taking place, when the sound of footsteps interrupted my thoughts. I hoped for a brief moment that it was Hampton. After my humiliating discovery of Hampton’s sexuality, we’d talked. I was still in shock about him and Jack, but little things I’d noticed over time started to make sense. Hampton suddenly coming home from college every weekend. He and Jack spending time together, without the rest of us. Their stolen glances that I always assumed were secret codes because they were up to something. Apparently, they had been up to something. Just not what everyone thought.

We’d talked it out, I’d admitted to him that I’d had feelings for him for years, and he’d apologized repeatedly, like it was his fault that I was in love with him. And then he’d cried, again, and I’d decided right there that I couldn’t leave him. I may not be able to help him the way I wanted to, but that didn’t mean I was going to abandon him when he felt more alone than ever. I’d been planning to go out of state for school, but one look at Hampton’s broken face, and I knew there was no way I was going anywhere if he wasn’t there. So, I’d changed my plans and applied to his school, getting accepted immediately. My mother was relieved that I wasn’t going far for school and Hampton’s mother was happy to know I would be there with her grieving son in the fall.

As the footsteps got closer, I ran my fingers under my eyes, trying to wipe away the tears without smearing my makeup when Lawson’s voice surprised me.

“Pippie? You okay?”

I nodded a little too enthusiastically, hoping he would go back inside and leave me alone. I wasn’t in the mood for one of his lectures, not that I’d gotten one in a while. I also couldn’t stand to see the pity in his eyes. I’d caught him looking at me a lot lately, and it was strange. He’d rarely paid me attention growing up. As teenagers, the only time he was interested in talking to me was if he was telling me what a mess I had made of something.

But lately, he’d been watching me, with something else in his eyes. I couldn’t figure it out, and honestly, I didn’t have the energy to try.

He settled onto the step next to me, beer in one hand. He set his bottle down and popped the top on the can of soda in his other hand. When he handed it to me, I smiled when I noticed he’d brought my favorite kind.

“Thanks,” I whispered before taking a small sip.

“Why are you out here alone?” he asked warmly, the slight Southern accent comforting me. It reminded me a little of Jack’s.

I lifted a shoulder, still not sure I would be able to speak without crying.

He didn’t push me. He just sat there quietly beside me, his leg pressed against mine. It was oddly comforting and I found myself grateful for the company, even though I wasn’t in the mood to talk. The sound of country music surrounded us, the speakers in the backyard loud enough to carry the lyrics to the front.

I’d finally managed to stop the tears from leaking out of my eyes when Jack’s favorite song started playing, the lyrics punching me in the gut.

It was too much, and I dropped my head to my hands, the sobs pouring out of me, my body shaking from the voracity of the pain.

Lawson wrapped an arm around my shoulders and with a strong tug, pulled me into his body. He held me tight as the waves of sadness washed over me, the agony of loss as fresh as the day it had happened. Probably more so, the shock of it all having finally worn off, and the dawning that this was our new reality finally settling in.

Lawson held me tight, never once loosening his hold on me, until my body finally stopped quaking and the last teardrop fell from my eye.

I scrubbed a hand over my face, no longer concerned with my appearance, and let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry. You probably just came out to bring me a drink, not hold me while I cried for an eternity.”

He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering as his thumb swiped the last bit of moisture from my face. “I love this song.”

My brows wrinkled and I strained my ears to hear what song was playing. “Yeah.” I forced a small smile and let my eyes flutter shut. My body began to sway with the music, and I let the artist’s soulful voice wash over me. “Maybe one day I’ll get to dance at their concert.”

Lawson moved and I opened my eyes to see him stand. Jumping from the last two steps, he turned back to me, his hand outstretched. “Why wait?”

With a soft smile on his face, his eyes sparkled as he asked, “Dance with me?”

I shook my head. “No, uh, I’m not really good.”

He laughed, the sound warming me. “Me neither. Come on.”

What the hell?

I stood and brushed off the back of my pants, hesitating. Who was this guy? His smile widened, and he winked—Lawson Reed, the nerdiest man I knew actually winked at me, before giving his outstretched hand a little shake. With a lift of my shoulders, I sucked in a breath before stepping into his open arms.

It was strange at first, but when he pulled me in close I rested my head on his chest, desperate for any morsel of comfort I could get. His heart beat strong, steady, in rhythm with my own. I allowed my lids to flutter shut again and I inched myself closer, holding Lawson impossibly tighter while he slowly rocked me back and forth.

The music played, and I got lost in the words.

The way they felt.

The way Lawson felt.

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