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It felt like even his oldest friends didn’t know quite how to deal with him now, and while Garrick appreciated them making the effort, it was still exhausting, trying to manage their helpfulness along with his own jumbled emotions. And he knew perfectly well what Rain was doing too by suggesting things like this outing—trying to keep him busy and distracted and unable to dwell too deeply on the new reality where he likely wouldn’t be returning to smoke jumping.
Each day since Jacob’s birthday had been a little easier, but he still wouldn’t say he was over what Rain gently called a grieving process. He didn’t like that word precisely because he knew others wrestled with far greater losses, but there was a certain amount of working stuff through, coming to an acceptance, a place where he wasn’t so mad at the world and dumb luck and himself all together. And sad. There was a fair bit of that too. He was going to miss it—all of it, the jumps, the adrenaline, the race against time, the tree climbing, hell even digging fireline.
And it was undeniably weird seeing Linc and Jacob socially like this, not for work, and for what was for all intents and purposes a double date. A year ago, he wouldn’t have expected any of this. And as he rolled along next to Rain on the wide sidewalk, he tried to shake the surreal, floaty feeling.
“Oh my god, I love your shirt,” Jacob greeted them with his eyes glued to Rain’s Bear Bait shirt when they met up at the entrance to the part of the park with the festival. Or maybe Jacob’s eyes were for Rain himself, who did look super hot in the tight T-shirt, purple shorts, and hair in a rare braid instead of his usual bun. And every time Garrick saw the braid, his brain went straight to sex, because Rain had let him comb his hair out after a shower, which had led to making out, which had led to them almost being late to this thing and Rain leaving his hair down in the rush to get ready.
“I want one,” Jacob continued, and Linc made a sort of growling noise, which only made Jacob laugh. Damn. Garrick had waited a lot of years to watch Linc get his comeuppance and it was more than worth it. “What? It’s fun. And don’t make me covet those matching I’m His/He’s Mine Disney Pride theme shirts we saw a minute ago.”
“On second thought, Rain’s shirt is delightful. Buy seven. No way are we doing matching anything.”
In a stage whisper, Rain leaned into Garrick. “I triple dare you to get them matching pajamas for the holidays.”
“Maybe so.” Thinking about winter made Garrick’s back tense. Rain would likely be gone then and who knew where or if Garrick would be working. He’d keep it summer as long as he could.
The event was set up along a paved path, three rows of maybe thirty or so booths and food carts making a triangle, the center of which housed activities for kids and families. At one end was a stage where a folk singer in a long skirt was singing. Shirley and some of her crafting friends had a booth filled with rainbow tie-dye shirts, and they stopped there to say hello before continuing on to the food. Shirley had on a Free Grandma Hugs button and appeared to be having a great time.
“Are you sure you don’t need my help loading up afterward?” Rain asked.
“No, dear. I’ve got my trusty wagon. We’ve been through many a festival together. You have fun with your friends.”
“So much for my mom’s insistence that Grandma couldn’t make it this summer without my help,” Rain grumbled as they walked away. “They’re visiting next weekend for the Fourth of July, and I guarantee you I’m going to get a lecture about how I’m not doing enough for Grandma.”
“It took me a solid six months of asking before she let me build her the raised beds out back. Some people are just super independent. I know she likes having you around.” That niggling worry about winter returned, this time stronger. How much longer would Rain want to stick around if Shirley didn’t need him? Was hanging out with Garrick enough of an inducement? Garrick knew full well he was finding the forestry work rather boring, with a lot of brush hauling lately as they were between controlled burns and no unexpected fires had cropped up yet. Just a little longer, he asked the universe. No way was he ready to worry about how in the hell he was ever going to let Rain go.
“Hey look! A pet-toy booth!” Jacob led the way to a display of rainbow collars, leashes, dog T-shirts, and more.
“They have baskets of toys at home. Baskets.” Linc gave a helpless groan as Rain and Jacob loaded up on organic heart-shaped dog treats and little plush squeaker-filled toys that were bound to get destroyed in thirty seconds. “And the teenagers who watch our dogs when we’re gone long hours are always bringing more toys too.”
