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“Small town,” Canaan observed weakly, then tried to rally. “So... I see congrats are in order? You guys tie the knot?”
“Yeah.” Ben tugged Maddox closer like Canaan might be tempted to snatch him if he didn’t go all caveman and stake his claim. “A while now. Got two dogs and a deposit down on a house near Maddox’s bakery. That’s what we’re out celebrating. That and Maddox knows the lead singer in the band.”
“Congrats. That’s awesome,” Canaan said and meant it. When he’d last seen these two, their future hadn’t been nearly so secure. To Maddox he added, “Tell your friend she was awesome. Great voice.”
“Thanks. Will do. We should probably get back to the dogs.” Maddox tugged on Ben’s arm, discomfort rolling off him in almost palpable waves.
Geez. It wasn’t like he was going to propose a foursome with zero preamble or try to split up what was quite clearly a happy couple. “Good luck,” Canaan said and meant it. “Hope the house works out well.”
“Thanks.” Ben gave another tight nod before moving on.
Renzo waited until they were walking back to the truck to speak. “So...uh...was it just me or was that super odd? Tovey’s on a different team from me, but he’s known as a smooth operator. Like nothing rattles the dude.”
“Except me.” Canaan went ahead and welcomed the elephant right into the conversation.
“You guys...dated? Like before he and Horvat got married, obviously?”
“Obviously,” Canaan said dryly. “No, nothing so formal as that.” And then because he really didn’t want secrets with Renzo, he went ahead and added, “I hooked up with them twice sorta. Super casual one-night things.”
“Wait. Them? Like a threesome? You had a threesome with Tovey and Horvat?”
“Shh.” Canaan waited until Renzo had unlocked the truck before continuing the conversation. “Depends on your definition of threesome.”
“Uh, the one where there’s more than two people in bed.”
“No bed involved here, and there was no penetration. But yeah, some orgasms happened. They weren’t a couple yet. It was a couple of years back. Right after my grandma died. I’d already split with Damian, so I went through a little...reckless phase there for a while.”
“Threesomes with SEALs being reckless?” Renzo’s jaw was still hanging open.
“I told you that Damian and I had some experience with that too.” Canaan was getting defensive and hated that. “I’ve had group sex, yeah. But I am one-hundred percent into the idea of monogamy with you.” He knew without asking that Renzo wasn’t the least into the idea of threesomes either with or without Canaan. “You’re all I need right now. Doesn’t matter how wild I got in the past.”
“I’m...” Renzo huffed out a breath as he started the truck. “I’m not worried about that.”
“Could have fooled me. You seem uncomfortable.”
“Okay. Maybe...not worried. But what if you feel...reckless again?” Renzo’s fingers drummed against the steering wheel. “Is what we have going to be enough?”
“First, I’m not a dick. I’d tell you if I felt that kind of urge, which I don’t. And yes, what we do in bed is absolutely enough for me. There’s a world of difference between having a regular thing I love and being bored on some random Friday night back when I didn’t have someone.”
“Fair enough. I mean it’s not like I didn’t have hookups before you too.” Renzo gave an unsteady laugh. “Just not with SEALs.”
“It’s San Diego. There’s a lot of them around,” Canaan reminded him as they headed toward North Park.
“And you’ve got...a thing.”
“Now you’ve been paying too much attention to Damian.” Canaan slumped back in his seat. Renzo wasn’t wrong, but Canaan hated the idea of Renzo thinking he was a SEAL chaser. “You could leave the teams tomorrow, and I’d still be all about you. All in. I couldn’t care less if you’re a SEAL or a personal trainer or whatever.”
“Not sure I entirely buy that,” Renzo admitted. “Me being a SEAL was part of the initial appeal for you, be honest.”
“Maybe a little.” Canaan couldn’t flat-out lie. “But then I got to know you. And I like you. Not the uniform. Not the fitness videos. You.”
“I like you too.” Renzo navigated the side streets of North Park to Canaan’s place. “A lot.”
“Then how about not being mad at me for something that happened a long time before there was an us?”
“I’m not mad.” Renzo pulled into the driveway. “Sorry. I’m probably being a prude. It’s just...weird to think about you with someone I know.”
“Would it help if I said that what we have is so much better than that night? That was just...bodies. Bodies having some fun. But what we’ve got, that’s the complicated stuff I used to avoid. But lately, I crave it. With you. It makes the sex so much better, what I feel for you.”
“Yeah.” Renzo sat quietly for long moments, not really responding to Canaan’s declaration of feelings, which was a little unnerving.
