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He removes the cover from a plate of pancakes and bacon and sits it on my lap. “Quite honestly, you may have ruined me for everyone else as well.”
I don’t like the idea of anyone else, and it dawns on me that we never discussed outside relationships. My eyes flash down to his left hand, and my breath whooshes out of my lungs.
“Thank God.” I take a bite of the crisp bacon and swallow. My breasts sit out in the open like an offering. After last night, Hugh has seen every inch of my body, so there is no need for embarrassment. I lost my shyness after the fourth time. The time he took me from behind and made me scream his name loud enough for the people next door to pound on the wall. “I should have asked. I’m so stupid.”
He climbs on the bed and scoots next to me. “I’m not that guy. I’m a one-woman man. I don’t cheat, and I don’t do casual. This is new for me too.” His arm wraps around my shoulders, and he pulls me close. “We both took risks, but I’ll never regret what we shared.”
“Me either,” I say.
He turns to look at me with an expression that’s truth mixed with affection. “Never accept less than you deserve. Always demand your share of satisfaction. If a man offers you something, make sure to require more because you’re worth it.” He presses his lips to mine and then pulls away. “And…” he stalls, “...never go with a man you don’t know to a hotel room alone.”
I lean into him. “That was the stupid part, but everything after that was amazing. Thank you for not being a serial killer.”
“Thank you for being you.” He climbs off the bed and straightens his jacket. “Have a great last year of school, Kat. Try everything at least once. Your sister is right. You have to balance work and play.”
“I try. I’ve got one more class that I can’t seem to pass. They say three’s the charm. I’m hoping it is.”
“Get ready, and I’ll walk you to the gate.”
I quickly shower and dress. We make our way to the gate. When his phone rings, he excuses himself to take the call he says is business.
The attendant calls for boarding. Hugh is still on his phone when my row is announced. I realize that this is the end of the road for us. In some way, it’s easier to give him a glance and say an internal goodbye then rush to him and give him a last hug and kiss.
I enter the plane and walk to the back, passing Hugh’s empty seat in first class. It’s another reminder of how different we are. He’s English, I’m American. He’s urbane. I’m rather gauche. The girl he slept with wasn’t the girl I am. She’s the girl I want to be. Brave and fearless. Witty and winsome. Unpredictable and unabashed. That’s not me. I’m driven by logic. My life is explained through math and science.
The problem with last night’s recklessness is that I can’t explain this ache I feel in my chest. I know it’s probably the rush of hormones, but it feels like more.
When the plane lands, I see Hugh waiting for me. He turns as if to make sure he hasn’t missed me, and in that minute, I sneak past him. It’s easier this way.
Six
Hugh
I get off the plane and wait. All the faces that pass me aren’t the one I’m looking for. I’m looking for eyes the color of summer grass. For lips swollen by my kisses. For a body I memorized by touch.
How I missed her baffles me, so I rush toward baggage claim hoping I’ll catch her there. I get a glimpse of her chestnut hair just as she rushes out of the airport and hops inside a cab.
Disappointment sits heavy in my chest. The entire flight I weighed the pros and cons of getting involved with Katy. By the end of the flight, everything tilted toward more time with her. Just when I got the courage to ask her to stick it out with me, she disappears.
Once I collect my bag, I’m met by someone from the university and taken straight to the house they provided. Eventually, I’ll get my own space, but for now, this will do.
I walk into the bedroom and stare at the empty bed. There will never be a night like last night. Hell, how did I get so hard so often, or stay hard like steel that long? One more look at the empty bed and I want to hit myself for being so slow to act. The truth is my feelings for Katy scare me. She makes me feel things I promised myself I wouldn't. She makes me want more. After a year of being without sex, love, affection, and trust, I find the only woman I want to be with and she vanishes.
After a quick shower and a change of clothes, I take the ten-minute walk to campus and meet with the Dean who shows me to my office and points me to my first class, which begins in fifteen minutes. Nothing like hitting the ground running.
When class is over, I check out my new office and prep for tomorrow’s lecture. I’m not supposed to teach the Foundation Writing class, but the professor unexpectedly quit, and I am the only educator left with a hole in my schedule.
Seven
Katy
I’m in the lab with Dr. Hampden when he tells me I’m doing a good job, and I’m going places. Sadly, the only place I see myself going is straight to the unemployment line when I don’t graduate.
“I could have never asked for a better sidekick,” he says with a supportive pat to my back.
“I’m not going anywhere if I can’t pass my writing class. I might be the oldest intern you have if I can’t convince Dr. Storm to pass me.”
“Didn't you hear?”
