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“What I want is for you to get a fucking hint and leave me alone.”
Her shoulders drop. I shouldn’t be such a dick, but I can’t stop it. There’s no point to us getting close. She’s working while I’m surviving the season. I almost forgot for a moment, but she brought me back to reality.
“You know, you spend way more energy pushing people away than trying to get to know them. One day you’ll realize what a mistake you’ve made, and I’ll be there for you once you do.” Her lips tug into a wobbly smile. One I hate to see in the first place, not because it isn’t beautiful, but because it’s too fucking perfect.
Like everything about her. Too focused, too put-together, too damn unattainable. I hate her for it. I hate her for barreling into my life and showing me what it’s like to want something different for once.
But most of all, I hate her for coming into my space, for making me pathetic, for simply believing me.
And hate makes me angry.
So fucking angry.
14
Elena
In the past six weeks I’ve worked with Jax, he never openly expressed disliking me. I thought part of his witty comments were because I could take his shit before handing it back with a smile. But tonight, as he does the exact opposite of what I asked of him yet again, maybe I need to accept how he dislikes me after all.
Jax somehow had me agree to go to some club with him to celebrate his second-place win for the Barcelona GP. To be fair, he told me he would stay calm because he was there to hang out with Liam and Sophie. My mistake was believing him in the first place. Clearly, I’m an idiot because he did exactly what I should’ve expected.
For the first hour, he was relatively normal. That is until he disappeared for a solid ten minutes claiming he had a phone call to answer. After he returned from whomever he spoke to, he knocked back multiple rounds of whiskey despite my protests. When I told him Liam would carry his drunk ass home, he laughed in my face. Safe to say that conversation sucked.
Liam has been shoving glasses of water at him whenever possible, but Jax is too far gone. Now, a few women dance around him, groping him while he gets lost in the music.
The whole thing is disgusting. But also, it’s beyond heartbreaking. His pain is obvious to the point that I feel it deep within my chest as if it were my own. It’s hard not to miss the hurt he tries to hide. In his eyes, in his attitude, in his need to close himself off from everyone.
I don’t know what pushed him over. And I don’t know how to help, let alone how to talk to him.
“I haven’t seen him this drunk…well, I think ever.” Sophie stares at Jax with her eyes wide open.
“That’s because he didn’t do it in front of you. This season he’s been different though, with him being less collected than usual.” Liam’s eyes track his friend’s movements. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything to hurt all the work Elena’s done to help him.”
“Do you know why he acts out like this? He won’t tell me anything,” I probe, hoping Liam has some answers.
“Sometimes he gets pissed. It’s random so it’s not like I can pin down the cause of it. But when he gets in this mood, it’s better to leave him be so he clears his head.”
“Which head, because the way those women grab onto him makes me think we are talking about two different types.” My stomach twists in knots at the thought of some woman coming to our suite tonight. I don’t know what to make of my tiny surge of jealousy. There’s no place for it in my line of work, yet I can’t ignore it.
Turns out Jax isn’t the only one slipping up tonight.
Liam grimaces. “Emotionally he’s off. But he’s been better this season—at least in the media. Of course, that’s all thanks to you. Thank God you put an end to the public blowjobs and trashy women exiting his suite at all hours of the day.”
I fail to hide the way my body cringes. “Great. Glad to know I’m doing something right.” I look away as I roll my eyes. I’m tempted to go back to the hotel and leave Liam to take care of him. Instead, I stay because of my job, and because Jax looks lost even though groupies surround him like he’s a homing beacon.
“Ugh. Don’t bring up his bed-fellow behavior. It’s disgusting.” Sophie elbows Liam in the ribs.
“I’m going to go check on him.” I stand, not wanting to sit through another minute of this torture. No one is having fun tonight but Jax, who looks drunk and depressed as he sways to the music. It’s about time I call an end to all of this because it’s my job, whether I like it or not.
I sidestep sweaty dancers and men with grabby hands as I move through the crowd of club-goers. Jax is easy to spot, with his tall frame and the small hoard of women pawing at him. I push through them and stand in front of him.
“Love, is that you?” He smiles at me, all goofy with glazed eyes.
“Who’s she?” A woman clutches onto his arm, pointing at me with a red-tipped finger.
“The best part of my day,” Jax answers with another smile.
Well, that’s unexpected. My heart thumps in my chest faster than before.
