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Austin and I awkwardly took up positions in the two chairs at her bedside, while Mrs. Dombruso continued to study me like a bug under a microscope. Finally she set the glasses down and said, “You’re a handsome boy, Charlie. I can see why my gay homosexual grandson is so smitten with you.”
“I…I’m sorry?” I stammered. Austin made a little choking sound and coughed into his fist as he struggled to repress a laugh.
“You’re the first boy he’s ever talked about, Charlie. He thinks I have a problem that he’s a gay homosexual. He used to bring these women home to meet me, pretty Sicilian girls with long hair and big boobs. I know he was doing that because he thought it was what I wanted. But that’s not what I want, Charlie. You know what I do want?”
“No ma’am.”
“I want that boy to be happy. The things he’s endured in his life, Jesus, Mary and Joseph! It’s been so much. He deserves some happiness now. Don’t you agree?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“The first time I ever heard him say your name, I knew,” she said. “I knew he’d finally found what he’d been searching for all those years. You’re the one that can make him happy, Charlie.” I smiled at that, and then she snapped, “So why the fuck did he break up with you?”
“How did you know he broke up with me?”
“Because when he came and saw me this morning, he was in a funk. At first, he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, but I finally got that much out of him. He wouldn’t go into details though. So what happened? Did you two have a fight? A lover’s quarrel? Whatever it is, you can get past it. This is important, Charlie. Dante needs this. He needs you. You have to make him take you back.”
“I’m trying, ma’am.”
“Really?”
“Oh he is, Mrs. Dombruso,” Austin chimed in. “Charlie went to see him earlier this afternoon and told him he refuses to let Dante break up with him.”
Mrs. Dombruso was delighted with this, and clapped her thin, veined hands together. “That’s what I want to hear! So you’re already doing what I was going to tell you to do. You’re a good boy, Charlie. And you’ll be good for my gay homosexual grandson, just as soon as you can convince him to stop being an idiot and get back together with you.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“I like almost everything about you, Charlie. You’re such a handsome boy, and with good manners. The only thing I don’t like is the fact that you’re holding hands with this little blonde cupcake right in front of me! Do you think I don’t know what’s going on under that coat? Was I born yesterday? Are you two-timing my grandson, Charlie?” she crunched up her face into a hard glare.
“Oh no, ma’am,” Austin piped up. Just the faintest southern accent had crept into his speech. He yanked the jacket away, revealing our chained wrists, and said, “We’re not holding hands. See?”
“So what is that? Some kinky sex thing?” Mrs. Dombruso demanded.
“No, ma’am,” Austin told her. “Your grandson chained me to Charlie before he left for the airport. He wants Charlie to think he’s a terrible person.”
Mrs. Dombruso knit her brows at that. And then she said, “My grandson is an idiot. He’s a good boy. But he’s an idiot! Trying to make the only person he’s ever fallen for think he’s bad! Bah! I’d cuff his ear if he was here right now.”
I glanced at my companion. He was fighting to keep a straight face, his big blue eyes sparkling with delight.
“Ok, so where’s your car, Charlie?” she asked.
“Around back in the parking lot. Why?”
“Because now that we’ve had our little talk, you’re getting me the hell out of here.” She threw back the covers, and revealed that she was wearing a pair of black pants and low heeled black pumps under her robe.
“Wait, what?” I stammered, jumping up from the chair and inadvertently dragging Austin up with me.
“You heard me. The doctors want to keep me in here another week, but no fucking way am I staying here that long! And none of my family will listen to me. So you’re getting me out of here, Charlie. You and Cupcake.”
“But Mrs. Dombruso, you had a heart attack!” I exclaimed.
“It was a mild heart attack, and it was days ago. I’m fine! And I’m getting out of here with or without your help,” she said, swinging out of bed and coming to stand directly in front of me, glaring up at me with her hands on her hips. Mrs. Dombruso was barely five feet tall (though the big velvet turban thing added some height) but she obviously thought she was pretty intimidating. “So what are you going to do? You gonna let a little old lady wander the streets of San Francisco all alone? Would you really do that to me, Charlie?”
