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“Because you’re human.”
The waitress returned, and I ordered another drink while Lorenzo ordered coffee. When she left, I said, “I’m pretty sure Alex and After is an autobiography. Bowen always denied it in interviews, but I think he was lying.”
“What makes you say that?”
“There’s a line in the first chapter, something about Liam being unable to hold a football because of an old injury. Bowen has a big scar on the back of his hand, and I know it might seem like a stretch, but you should have seen his niece’s reaction when I tried to talk to her about it. Obviously, we can’t tell anyone. He’s kept it a secret all these years for a reason. But it was surprising to realize I was probably talking to Liam.”
“Does knowing it’s a true story change anything for you?”
“I feel more pressure than ever to do the best job I can. It’s not just about trying to do justice to a character. It’s about honoring Alex’s memory.”
Chapter 12
The next two days on set went about like I’d expected. I shot several scenes with the four lead actors, which all required a million takes. They averaged two diva meltdowns per day, which Gage Lang handled remarkably well. Meanwhile, I tried my best to take it in stride and not act like a spoiled child.
Since I was already feeling a lot of pressure, Lorenzo and I decided it would be best if we waited a bit before he sat in on filming. So instead, he spent most of Wednesday and Thursday cooking and baking. On my lunch breaks, he met me in my trailer with healthy, delicious meals and let me vent to him about how terribly the scenes were going. I explained that I could just grab a sandwich from craft services, but he said, “This is better.”
At the end of each workday, he was waiting at the beach house with cocktails, appetizers, and elaborate four-course meals. On Thursday night, when I told him I felt bad that he was going to so much trouble, he said, “I’m actually really enjoying it. This is a great kitchen. Besides, you know I love taking care of you.”
“And that’s wonderful and amazing, but I feel like I’m taking advantage of your kindness.”
He frowned a little and said, “I have to ask, just because this seems like a big deal to you. Didn’t anyone cook for you when you were growing up?”
“Not really. My parents both hated to cook, so breakfast was whatever I could scrounge up, and dinner was usually fast food or something frozen that could be thrown in the microwave. I’d also get free lunches during the school year. I loved those. There was always a main course, two sides, and a dessert. Mondays were the best. We’d get a cute little individual pizza, a fruit cup, carrot sticks, and a chocolate chip cookie.”
That must have sounded pathetic, because Lorenzo pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. Then he said, “I really hope you can stop feeling guilty when I cook for you, because I have absolutely no intention of stopping.”
“If it starts to feel like an obligation, or if you just get tired of it, please don’t force yourself.”
“I promise I’ll stop if that ever happens, as long as you promise to stop feeling guilty about it.”
I said, “I promise to try.”
After dinner, we went outside with a thick blanket and curled up together on a bench overlooking the ocean. The moon was almost full, and its light sparkled on the dark water and softly lit our surroundings. We sat in silence for a while, taking it all in, and then he asked, “How are you feeling about filming Alex’s death scene tomorrow?”
“Well, I’ve just realized I’m going to freeze to death because we’re shooting at night, in January, and I’ll be barefoot and wearing nothing but a T-shirt and jeans. But hey, maybe the hypothermia will distract me from the terror of trying to pull off the most important scene of my entire career.”
“That’s all you’re wearing? It’s only about ten degrees above freezing out here.”
“Alex wanders outside drunk and totally distraught. It wouldn’t make sense for him to put on boots and a jacket first.”
“True, but you’re going to get sick, especially if the director makes you stand out there for hours doing a million takes.”
“Don’t worry, the crew will take care of me. Phoenix checked to make sure I’ll have an electric blanket, hot tea, and someplace out of the wind to duck into between takes.”
“I want to be there. Is that alright?”
“It’s more than alright. This is going to be tough, both emotionally and physically, and I’ll need you to help me through it.” By the expression on his face, you would have thought I’d just given him the most amazing gift.
