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I couldn’t help but grin. “I know. It’s weird for me, too. I’m trying to get in Alex’s frame of mind, and you’re right, I have to go from the end of his life back to filming scenes where everything seems fine between him and Liam. It’ll be even stranger when I shoot the scenes in San Francisco. They’re mostly flashbacks to some of this group of friends’ happiest times.”

“I know it’ll all make sense when the film’s edited,” he said. “But in the meantime, it just seems like a hot mess. I can barely imagine it coming together.”

“It’s always like that, not just because it’s filmed out of order, but because so much is enhanced during post production. One of the most important parts of any film is the score, and when you watch the dailies without any music, everything just falls flat.”

“Do the actors ever get to watch that raw footage?”

“Sometimes, but that’s usually the director’s call. I haven’t seen any of what’s been shot so far, and maybe that’s a good thing. It might end up rattling my confidence.”

“This is a strange business, and I still have a lot to learn. This is only my third film,” he said. “I love it though, and I really hope I get a job on another movie after this.”

I murmured, “Same.”

When Riley and the hair stylist had both finished with me, I went to the wardrobe trailer. It was already cold out, but I knew it’d get much colder as the night wore on. Shooting was scheduled from eight p.m. to midnight, which as Riley pointed out was, “…a hell of a long time to pretend to die.”

Fortunately, I was given a skin-tight, thermal body suit to wear under the jeans and baggy, white T-shirt. “We had to cut the sleeves off so they wouldn’t show,” the wardrobe assistant told me, “but it should help keep you warm. Best of all, it doesn’t add any bulk, so Alex will still look frail under his oversize clothes.”

Phoenix had given me fleece-lined slippers and a huge ski jacket to get into and out of quickly between takes, so I put those on along with my wardrobe. I looked and felt ridiculous, but the goal here was warmth, not fashion.

Just as I stepped outside, a production assistant came up to me and said, “We’re ready for you on set, Mr. Kandinsky.”

I corrected him for at least the tenth time. “Thanks, and please call me Will.” I knew he wouldn’t do it, though. This kid was all of nineteen or twenty, and he still thought actors were something special. A few years in the business would probably cure him of that.

Phoenix caught up with me as I headed to the back of the house and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Like I want to throw up. How do I look?”

“Pretty much like you feel.” At least he was honest. “Maybe that’s not a bad thing though, since your character is supposed to be drunk and upset.”

“True. Have you seen Lorenzo?”

“I set up a chair for him right next to Riley’s, and he’s already taken his seat because he doesn’t want to get in the way. He’s nervous for you, but he’s trying to pretend he’s not.”

As soon as we rounded the corner, the knot in my stomach tightened. This was the first time I’d be shooting a scene by myself, and to see the entire crew getting into place was more than a little intimidating. So was the fact that Lang had blocked out four hours to shoot what would end up as less than ten minutes of the movie. Even when you factored in frequent breaks, he was clearly planning on shooting these scenes over and over until I got it right.

Lorenzo leapt to his feet as soon as he saw me, and I hurried over and gave him a hug. I tipped my head back as I did that, so I wouldn’t mess up my hair and makeup. Riley was organizing a portable makeup table right beside us, and he said, “Go ahead and give him a real hug. I really don’t mind retouching your face.”

Before I could do that though, a member of the lighting department asked me to take my mark outside the patio door. I left the jacket behind, then stood where he told me, so the crew could adjust what was meant to look like moonlight.

Once they were satisfied, Gage Lang joined me and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Great. I’ve been looking forward to this.”

He didn’t seem like he believed me, but he pressed ahead with, “To set the scene, Alex and Liam had both been drinking, and they just had a fight. Liam went upstairs, and now Alex is about to step out onto the patio. After that, we’ll film the scene where he runs across the field to the edge of the cliff. He’s heartbroken and we need it to be emotional, but we don’t want a soap opera here.”

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