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“Hey, Will?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you please stop talking for a minute? Because I’d really like to kiss you.”
I smiled at him, and he pulled me close and gave me a kiss that was more passionate, urgent, and scorching than any that had come before it. Then he said, “I love you, too.”
“You do?” He nodded, and I asked, “Then why were you heading back to Catalina?”
“Because I didn’t know you felt the same way I did, and I couldn’t stand the thought of weighing you down.”
“Come and sit down, so we can talk about this,” I said, as I guided him to the couch. When he was seated, I straddled his lap and put my arms around his shoulders, and then I asked, “What do you mean by weighing me down?”
“You have all these amazing things happening for you, and I just know you’re about to become famous and wildly successful. The last thing you need right now is someone like me holding you back.”
“So, you were going to leave me?”
“That’s not what I was doing,” he insisted. “I was just going to go back to Catalina for the next three weeks to give you some space. You said the rest of your scenes weren’t worrying you, so I figured you wouldn’t really need me anyway.”
“I don’t just need you when I’m struggling, Lorie. I need you all the time, not to do things for me, but just to be there. None of this means a thing if I can’t share it with you.”
He searched my eyes and said softly, “I think I really needed to hear that.”
“Also, it’s impossible for you to hold me back. We’re a team. Whatever happens, we’re in it together.”
“What if your next movie was set to film in, let’s say, London for six months, and I had an obligation that kept me in L.A. What would you do?”
“I’d turn down the part.”
“Then that’s the perfect example of me standing in the way of your dreams,” he said.
“You’re wrong. No job is more important than you and me.”
“But after working toward this for the last ten years and wanting it more than anything—”
“You’re what I want more than anything, Lorie. In a perfect world, sure, I’d love to have both the job and the amazing man. But if I have to pick, you win hands down, every single time. I came so close to telling you all of this the other day, but I was worried it was too soon. I wasn’t planning to tell you I love you yet either, but I thought you were leaving me so I needed to put my cards on the table.”
“It sounds like we both need to get better at talking about what’s on our mind,” he said.
“I know I do. I was always just so worried about getting the timing wrong.”
“I get that.”
“Now that I know you love me, I have to ask,” I said. “Why did you tell me you weren’t ready for a relationship?”
“Because the way I feel about you terrifies me. It strips away all my defenses and makes me totally vulnerable, so I was trying to buy myself some time. I swore I was done with relationships after the last one almost broke me. But then there you were, chipping away at my resolve day after day, even though I was sure you’d never want someone like me.”
“You know, you usually seem so confident,” I said. “It’s surprising to hear this insecurity from you.”
“I’m confident about some things, like being good at my job, but this is something else entirely. It turns out the best way to rattle my confidence is to fall in love with an absolutely gorgeous, much younger man who’s on the brink of stardom. I just kept thinking, why would you choose to be with me when you can have anyone you want? And then when we were having that discussion about sugar daddies, it just really drove the point home that guys like you don’t tend to end up with guys like me.”
I frowned and said, “Unless our financial situation was reversed, you mean. You certainly hear about younger people choosing older partners who can support them financially.”
“Yeah, that’s actually pretty common.”
“So, you and I aren’t stereotypical, and you know what? I love that. After all those years working as a prostitute, I could never be with someone who supported me financially. I just couldn’t. It’d remind me too much of where I was before.”
“I totally understand.”
“I’m so glad we’re finally having this discussion,” I said. “It probably should have happened long before that New Year’s kiss.”
“Then again, I’m glad we had that time as friends. I think we both needed to ease into this.”
I put my head on his shoulder, and he rubbed my back as I said, “That’s very true.”
