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“Okay. Anything else?”
“Before you throw it, tell it all the ways that person hurt you.” I cupped the rock between both hands and whispered to it, “You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.” I met Lorie’s gaze and said, “This last part is most important of all. Before you throw the rock, you have to forgive the person who hurt you, and you have to really mean it. That’s where the real power lies.”
I stood up and said, “I forgive you, Avery, and I’m sorry you’re so unhappy.” Then I threw the rock, and it landed with a splash in the river.
Lorenzo got up too and asked, “Do you feel any different?”
“I do. That had been weighing on me, but now I feel lighter. What happened in the past can only hurt me if I let it, and this is basically my way of saying that’s enough now.”
He stared out at the river for a while, and then he picked up a stone and the chalk. He wrote his mom’s name and forgave her for letting her prejudice come between them, and he threw it into the water.
I thought we’d be done after that, but he picked up a second stone. He just held it for a few moments, and then he wrote Javier’s name. When he lightly ran a fingertip along the stone’s edge, it almost seemed like a caress. He whispered, “I forgive you for cheating on me and breaking my heart.” After a pause, he added, “I also forgive you for dying and leaving me all alone.” That last part took me by surprise.
He tilted the stone and kissed the top of it. It reminded me of kissing the crown of someone’s head. Then he threw it as far as he could. It landed with a splash, way down the river. He stared after it for a while, and when he turned to me, there were tears in his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him, and he whispered, “Thank you. That was long overdue.”
We left the bridge hand-in-hand. The chalk and the rest of the stones I’d gathered stayed behind, for anyone else who might need them.
* * *
Even though it was still early when we got back to the house, I stuck my head into the living room and told my parents, “We’re pretty tired, so we’re going to bed. See you in the morning.”
My mom called, “Did you remember to pack condoms, Willie? If not, don’t worry. Your dad and I picked some up for you at the Walmart when we went into Shreveport last week.”
I muttered, “We’re all set, Ma, thanks,” and Lorenzo almost choked as he fought back a laugh. Then he followed me to my childhood bedroom. So did the dogs, but I told them the room was too small for all of us and made them go back to my parents.
It really was tiny. The bedroom took up one end of the original trailer, and it was so narrow that the headboard and footboard of my twin bed were pressed against opposite walls.
My parents hadn’t changed a thing after I moved out, and I hadn’t updated it since I was about sixteen. Lorie looked around and said, “Wow, this is really something.”
“I did most of this between my sophomore and junior years of high school, when I was newly committed to my acting obsession. That’s why every square inch of wall space is covered in movie posters.” I wasn’t exaggerating about it being covered. We couldn’t even see the wall or ceiling color, because the whole room was plastered top to bottom. “In case you’re wondering about some of the films on these posters, I hadn’t even seen a lot of them when I put these up. We had a tiny movie theater in town for a while, and they’d often have free posters rolled up in a can by the door. I’d grab whatever I could get my hands on, then come home and stick them on my walls, no matter what they were. There are probably five or six more layers beneath the one we’re seeing.”
“It’s an odd time capsule of movies released in, what? 2005, 2006?”
“Something like that.”
“I like it, though,” he said. “It shows a lot of passion.”
“And also, what you can do on a budget of zero dollars.”
We took off our shoes and sat at opposite ends of the small bed, facing each other. Lorenzo pretended to look serious, but then he asked, “Are we going to talk about the fact that your middle name is Delores?”
I burst out laughing and said, “I was wondering when you were going to bring that up.”
“Hey, it could have been worse.”
“How?”
“I have no idea.” We both laughed at that. Then Lorenzo held his arms out, and I turned around and leaned against him. His held me securely and kissed the top of my head before saying, “I’m so glad you invited me to join you on this trip. I don’t think anyone could ever truly know you without understanding where you came from.”
