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“And Abel,” I said. “He chose the side of good today.”
“I hate to think what would have happened if you hadn’t gotten through to him. But there’s no way of knowing if that’s a true change, or just a momentary lapse. Time will tell, I suppose. At least Carter can keep him in check if need be.”
I grinned and asked, “What was that kiss about?”
Elias grinned, too. “I’m not sure. Carter doesn’t discuss his love life with me, but if he’s interested in Abel, he’s going to have his hands full.”
“No doubt.”
We both fell silent again, watching each other in the flickering firelight. Then I reached out and took his hand. He wrapped both of his hands around mine and said, “We’re going to be okay, Mateo.” I wanted to believe that more than anything.
The next morning, I awoke alone in that big bed. The first thing I noticed was that my portrait no longer hung above the mantel, and in its place was an impressionistic landscape. I tried not to read too much into that, but it still felt a bit like a rejection.
I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. Elias had thoughtfully left some things for me on the counter, including a razor and a comb. After I showered and shaved, I got dressed in the same clothes from the day before, because they were all I had with me.
Then I went in search of Elias. A feeling of uncertainty followed me. It was such an odd feeling, not really knowing what we were to each other anymore.
The door in the corner was open when I stepped into the sitting room, and I could hear Elias moving around in the kitchen. I crossed the room, then paused and leaned against the doorframe.
It was tough to sneak up on a werewolf, but I’d managed it because he was lost in thought. He stood at a work table in the center of the small, simple kitchen, barefoot and dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans. The muscles flexed in his arms and shoulders as he kneaded a soft dough, transforming it from a mixture of ingredients into something more.
Without warning, a sense of loss slammed into me.
He was free of the bond now. Free of me. He could find whoever he wanted, fall in love, and build a life with the man of his choice.
Regret rose up and swallowed me whole.
I’d made such a huge mistake and wasted so many years, all because of fear. That was the real thing that had kept me away from him—fear of trusting someone, fear of putting myself in a position where I could be hurt. That was why I ran and hid from him, and that fear had cost me everything. It cost me a century with my mate, and now I didn’t have one anymore.
Just then, Elias looked up and spotted me in the doorway. I held my breath, waiting to see what he’d do.
Then the most beautiful smile spread across his face. He was happy to see me. I felt it as well as saw it, that happiness rolling off him in waves.
When I rushed to him, he held his arms out and caught me in an embrace. I clung to him and buried my face in his chest, and he chuckled and said, “I’m getting flour all over you.” I just held on tighter, and he asked, very gently, “Are you alright?”
I blurted, “I’m so sorry, Eli.”
“What are you apologizing for?”
“Hiding from you. Hurting you. God, I’m sorry.”
“That’s all in the past.”
“But I wasted all those years we could have had together, and now we’re not mates anymore, and—”
He tilted my chin up and kissed me tenderly. Then he said, “It doesn’t matter if the mate bond is gone. Nothing’s changed, Mateo.”
“It hasn’t?”
“Not for me. Has it changed for you?” When I shook my head, he smiled at me and said, “In that case, we have centuries ahead of us, and they’re so full of possibility. That’s what we should be focused on, not the past, or things that are out of our control.”
I searched his eyes and asked, “Am I really what you want, even without the bond? Even though you can have anyone you choose now?”
“I choose you, Mateo. It’s always been you. Don’t you know that?”
“But you didn’t have a say in it. The universe just randomly put us together, and—”
“No, it didn’t. It created the perfect partner for each of us, and then it allowed us to find each other. With or without the bond, you’re still my other half, and I’m so grateful for you.”
I hugged him tightly and murmured, “I thought I lost you twice in the last twenty-four hours, first when you died, then again when I realized our bond was gone.”
