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Vicki comes into the kitchen and takes Ella’s mug from her, rinsing it, then depositing it in the sink.
“Where’d you just come from?” Ella asks, tilting her head to the side curiously.
I take a pull from my beer before answering. “Nowhere you need to worry about.”
&nbs
p; She crosses her arms over her chest and tips up her chin. I know that look and stance well. It’s what she always uses when she’s about to show her stubborn side. Vicki notices too. She looks at me, seeing my jaw set, then back to Ella.
“Ella, babe, maybe we should—”
“You went to see her, didn’t you?” Ella asks, ignoring Vicki.
There’s no sense in denying it, so I don’t even try. “Yes.”
Her eyes soften, and her arms fall to her sides. “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Luca?”
“Probably not, but I did anyway. I wanted to see for myself that she’s okay.”
I grab my phone and plug it into the charger. After finishing off my beer, I chuck the bottle in the trash, then turn back to Ella. Her expression is one of confusion.
“Why wouldn’t she be okay?”
Sighing, I press my hands to the counter, and drop my head. I’ve never told anyone about my dreams, except Theo, and that was only because I had to. There’s really no reason why I never told my family, I just never felt the need to. With finding out what I did and being the cause of Jules’s distress during the dreams, maybe it’s time I do tell someone. They already know what I did; there’s no sense keeping this from them.
I lift my head and bring my eyes back to Ella. “I’ve been dreaming about Jules for years.”
Ella’s head jerks back and shock widens her eyes. Something tightens in my chest with my next confession.
“In my dreams, she was always hurt or sad. She’d ask me for help, as if she was afraid of something, but I never knew why.”
“But I thought you didn’t remember Jules?”
I take my eyes from my sister and watch as Vicki comes to stand beside her, lacing their fingers together.
“I don’t. Even though I dreamed about her, I never recognized her. It wasn’t until I saw her in the hospital the day you were attacked that I even knew she was real.”
“I don’t understand,” Ella comments, frowning. “Why were you dreaming of her if it was you that…”
She trails off and her eyes slide to the side. I know she’s trying to spare my feelings. Ella can be a hardheaded bitch at times, but she has the same trait as everyone in the family. She hates to see one of us hurt.
“…was the reason she was in a coma?” I finish for her. There’s no sense in sugarcoating it. Her face is pained when she looks back at me. After a moment, she nods once. “I have no fucking clue.” I blow out a breath. “My only guess is my head was trying to tell me something that I couldn’t remember.”
“So why visit her? It still doesn’t explain why you would think she wasn’t okay.”
It takes me a moment to formulate my reply. My feelings toward Jules are dangerous and idiotic given what I did seven years ago, but they’re there, and I don’t know how to turn them off. I don’t know what happened to make me flip the way I did, but I hope like fuck that shit’s not in me anymore.
“I don’t really know why, but after seeing her in my dreams, the pain and terror she went through, I just felt the need to see for myself that she was okay.”
Ella watches me inquisitively for several moments. “I just can’t….” She trails off and shakes her head. “I still have a hard time believing you’re capable of what Theo says. I know you, Luca. You have a temper when warranted, but to hurt a woman? That shit is too much to believe.”
It’s too much for me to believe too, but the evidence is there, and people do crazy shit and act out of character all the time. As much as I don’t want to believe what Theo said, I’ve got no reason not to believe him.
I sigh and scrub a hand down my face, exhaustion sliding to my bones. “I don’t want to believe it either, but fuck, Ella, you know Theo just as well as you know me. He wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
She nods, knowing it’s true. “Yeah.” She pins me with a stern look. “Just be careful.”
I acknowledge her words with a head jerk. She doesn’t need to go into detail for me to know what she’s saying. She doesn’t want a repeat of the past.
