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“You ready? Luca looks like he needs sleep.”
Ella comes forward, and I envelop her into my arms. She squeezes tighter than normal before pulling back.
“Love you, big brother,” she says, offering a smile.
“Love you too, little sister.”
Minutes later, they’re both gone, and I’m in the shower, washing away the day. Ella’s words come back to me as I stand under the warm spray.
I don’t know what my feelings are, I just know I need to keep them in check. I feel responsible for Jules because I’m the reason she’s missed seven years of her life.
After drying off, I climb into bed. My stomach rumbles, but I ignore it. I only ate a half a sub earlier, but I’m too damn tired to get up and make something.
I lie in bed with my hands behind my head, dreading going to sleep, but knowing I need to get at least a couple of hours.
I close my eyes, but a few hours later, I’m awake again with the sound of Jules’s pleas reverberating in my head.
IT’S BEEN FIVE DAYS since I started coming back to the hospital. Each night, I promise myself it’ll be the last, but the next night I end up back here. I know I’m asking for trouble, but it doesn’t stop me. Either one of the nurses will spot me and kick me out, or Theo will find out and go fucking crazy. Neither of those things keep me away.
Every night, I’ve kept my place just inside the door.
Until tonight.
When I walked into the room, Jules’s wildflower scent hit me hard, and my feet were taking me closer to her before I realized it. I’m now standing at the bed getting my first close-up view of her in weeks, and it feels like I can finally breathe again.
Quietly, I sit down in the chair that I’m sure Theo’s sat in multiple times recently. He has every right to sit in this chair, but fuck if I don’t like it. Even the thought of him being close to her makes me livid and my fists itch to pummel the hell out of him.
I push those thoughts aside before they get me in trouble.
She looks better than the last time I saw her. Healthier. Her cheeks aren’t as shallow, and her hair looks more vibrant. My eyes land on her left hand that’s lying on her stomach and notice the absence of her rings. She didn’t have them on when she was in a coma, I’m sure because the doctors didn’t want to take the chance of them cutting into her skin if her hands swelled, but I figured that would change once she found out she and Theo were married.
I slide open the drawer beside me just enough to see the bag still inside, then frown when I only see the locket and not the ring. She could have easily placed it somewhere else.
I push the drawer closed and look back at Jules. I silently curse when I see her eyes open, looking at me. Sitting stiffly, I wait for her to scream. The look in her eyes says she’s contemplating doing just that.
Hoping I’m not making a mistake, I hold my hand up in front of me, and say quietly, “I’m sorry. I’ll leave.”
I keep my eyes on her and slowly, so as not to startle her, get to my feet. Her frightened eyes stay glued to mine as I take a step back. I fucking hate that I put that look in her eyes. And I’m a grade A asshole for being here, knowing there was a chance this may happen.
Just before I turn on my heel, her soft but urgent voice stops me.
“Wait.”
I halt in my tracks and close my eyes, loving the sound of her voice. Opening them a moment later, I find her looking at me cautiously.
“What’s your name?” she asks. She’s still stiff, and I can tell by the way she’s clutching the blanket to her chest that screaming is still very much an option for her.
“Luca,” I respond gently.
“Luca,” she murmurs. I feel the sound of her voice saying my name in every part of my body. I love it coming off her lips, and I secretly wish she’d say it again.
“You’ve been coming here for the last
… several nights, haven’t you?”
Her question throws me. She’s never woken up during my short visits, so for her to know I’ve been coming here at night surprises me.
I don’t want to lie to her, but I also don’t want her to freak out. However, she deserves to know the truth. Again, hoping I’m not making a mistake, I answer honestly.
