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“Umm…,” she begins, purses her lips, then continues. “They’re different sometimes, but the one that happens the most is me in a black room. It’s so dark I can’t see anything. I feel like I’m looking for something, but I’m lost and don’t know the way.”
Her words freeze the air in my lungs. I’m motionless, except for the rapid beat in my chest.
“I try to yell for help, but it’s like I’m paralyzed and can’t move or talk. I feel a presence, and it scares me. It sinister, like it wants to hurt me.” Fear glimmers in her eyes, and her voice lowers. “Sometimes there’s a silhouette of a man. I don’t know who it is, but I feel the menace radiating off him.”
She stops talking, but her eyes hold consternation, like she wants me to explain her dreams to her. I’m speechless, because I have no fucking clue what to say. I’m confused myself. It could just be a coincidence that we’ve both dreamed of being in a black space, but I highly doubt it. It’s too fucking weird. No, we’ve both dre
amed of that place for a reason, and I really don’t want to think of that reason right now. I’ll do that shit later when I’m away from her and can think clearly.
I clear my throat and ignore the bad feeling forming in my gut.
“What about your other dreams?”
Colors fills her cheeks and her eyes slide away from mine. Something tells me I’m not going to like these dreams either.
“They’re of me and Theo. We’re… touching and…” She pauses and tucks some hair behind her ear, looking embarrassed and confused. “…making love.”
A splintering pain wedges itself between my ribs, threatening to puncture my heart. An unreasonable amount of anger follows. There’s no reason for it to piss me off or hurt so much knowing that Jules has been dreaming of Theo in that capacity, but it damn sure does. She’s his fucking wife, for Christ’s sake, and I’m just the bastard who has an infatuation with her. She’s not mine, and never will be.
Looking at her, shifting awkwardly in her seat as her eyes avoid mine, I know she senses my unsettling thoughts. I try to rein them in, at least enough to where she doesn’t see them. Outwardly, I soften the features on my face, while inwardly my blood heats to boiling levels.
“It’s okay to have those dreams, Jules,” I tell her through a thick throat. “Maybe they aren’t just dreams, maybe they’re memories.”
“Maybe so,” she returns quietly.
Theo walks back into kitchen then, looking to Jules, then to me, and back to Jules. His jaw hardens when he sees the flush on Jules’s face that hasn’t left yet. I grab my beer, down the rest, and drop it in the trash can.
“I’m leaving.”
I don’t miss the relieved look on Theo’s face, or the frown that pulls down Jules’s lips. I don’t say a word to either of them as I leave the kitchen. I stop in the living room to tell the others goodbye.
“I wish you could stay longer. I haven’t even got to see you,” Mom complains.
“You see me almost every day, Mom.”
“Not so much lately.”
“Helen, let the boy go.”
I look to Dad and see he notices way more than I want him to.
I bend and kiss Mom’s cheek. “I’ll stop by in a day or two for dinner.”
“You better,” she admonishes.
After saying goodbye to Ella, Vicki, Dad, and getting a kiss from Aria, I leave. I’m halfway to my truck when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn and find Theo coming toward me.
“Not now, Theo,” I forestall what I know he’s going to say.
“I want you to stay away from her,” he says angrily.
“That’s hard to do when she’s part of the family. Do you expect me to not come to any family functions? You know damn good and well Mom would never let that happen.”
He stops several feet away, his body tight with tension. He runs his hand through his long hair, then grips the back of his neck.
“You know what I fuckin’ mean, Luca,” he growls.
His eyes look crazed, and guilt once again plagues me. I have no doubt this is driving him crazy, and pulling the shit I did in the kitchen couldn’t have made it easier. He has every right to lay me out, right here and now, and looking at his clenched fists, I know he’s contemplating doing just that.
