AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I still don’t understand,” he says. I frown because I don’t know what he’s referring to. “Why doesn’t Avery know you’re her mother?”
“Because I don’t deserve her.” I state the painful truth.
“How could you say that?” he counters. I go to object, but he places a finger over my mouth. “That day your mom showed up at the clinic…. Yes, she helped you, but it was you who decided to really listen to her. It was you who decided to not go through with it. You could have gone back to the clinic another day, but you didn’t. You chose to believe in the good that came out of such a horrific event. You gave Avery a chance to live.”
I’m crying again. I want to believe him so much, and a small part of me does. The day I went to that clinic was the worst day of my life. Not the day Jason died, or the days I was raped repeatedly, but that day, because I know my parents were right, and I would have never forgiven myself if I had gone through with it. It would have torn me up until there was nothing left. I don’t know if I would have gone through with it if Mom hadn’t shown up, but even the possibility that I would have scares me so much.
“What if she hates me?” I whisper my fear.
His smile is small. “She won’t. She may be confused and upset, but she won’t hate you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
He pulls me forward until I’m forced to lay my chest against his.
“I may have only been around Avery once, but once was enough. That little girl worships and adores you.”
I smile for the first time in what feels like forever, then drop my forehead to his chin. Hope blossoms in my chest at the prospect of Avery knowing I’m her mother, but behind that hope is the deep-seated fear of Nathan being wrong and Avery wanting nothing to do with me. I wouldn’t be able to cope if I didn’t have her in my life. It’s hard enough watching Mom take on that role when it’s been my dream for years.
Nathan lifts my head and stares into my eyes. “She deserves to know,” he says softly.
A tear tracks down my cheek, and his gaze follows it for a moment until it drips off my chin, then he brings his eyes back to mine.
“And you deserve to know her as the daughter you so obviously love.”
A sob leaves my lips before I can stop it, and I launch myself against him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I cry so much that my chest hurts and my breaths stutter. Nathan holds me, rubbing my back, and murmurs soft words into my ear.
I don’t know how long we stay like that; seconds, minutes, or hours, but I feel better than I did before all this started. Telling Nathan what I did lifts a weight off my chest I’ve carried for years. Both my parents and Jessika have told me repeatedly that I need to let go of the guilt, but it’s been hard listening to them because I’ve always felt I deserved to feel that way. Hearing it from Nathan though, someone who wasn’t there during those dark times, who wasn’t a witness to my downfall and near fatal mistake of terminating my pregnancy, is liberating.
For the first time in years, I feel hope.
ChapterSixteen
Emberleigh
I FEEL NATHAN’S HARD CHEST MEET my back as I stand at the sink rinsing dishes. Abby and Ava are at the bar dishing up and putting away the leftovers, so when his stiff cock nudges my backside, I stifle the moan wanting to slip free. He pushes my hair to the side and whispers kisses against the side of my neck. Goose bumps appear on my arms, and I shudder.
His chuckle is deep and does nothing to help the heat that’s quickly forming between my thighs.
“Everyone’s taking off, but we’re going to stay for a bit. Watch a movie.”
I turn in place and circle my arms around his waist. I tilt my head back to look at him. “Okay.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Abby looking at us. When she notices, she winks at me, then turns back to the bar.
A few minutes later, after everyone has left, we’re on the love seat while Tegan and Willow are on the couch.
“What are we in the mood for?” Tegan asks, sitting with his elbows on his knees as he browses through Vudu. When there’s no immediate answer, he makes his own suggestion. “Porno it is then.”
I choke on the swallow I just took and start coughing. Willow jabs him in the ribs as he laughs.
“Not funny, Tegan,” she scolds.
He shrugs. “I thought it was.”
Nathan’s arm comes around my shoulders and he tugs me closer to him.
“How about some Fifty Shades?” Tegan suggests next, earning a scowl from Willow.
