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“What the fuck, Beth, you can’t even talk to me now, give me an explanation? This is complete bullshit.”
He threw the sheet off and vaulted from the bed. Storming around to her side, he stood, hands on his hips in front of her. Tears spilled down her cheeks but hurt and anger had blocked out any concern.
“Answer me, God dammit. I deserve an answer.”
She shook her head. “I can’t give it to you.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because I know you too well, Hank. I know the kind of man you are, how much duty, obligations and promises mean to you. I won’t have you feeling obligated to stay with me.”
“That makes less sense than a sack of shit.”
“I’m sorry.” She stood, her body only inches from his. Her hand went up to touch his chest, but she stopped just shy of her goal. “I can’t hurt you like I hurt them.”
Shuffling, she stepped sideways around him and gathered her clothes piled on the floor in front of the window.
Enough. He marched over to her and yanked the clothes from her grasp. “What are you talking about?”
“The night my parents died. I’d begged them to stop at Denny’s on the way home. That’s why we were on the road so late. If I hadn’t been so intent on my own needs, so selfish, we never would have been hit by the drunk driver. My parents would be alive.”
The anger evaporated and he folded Beth into his arms. “You were an eight-year-old girl. You aren’t responsible. The other driver is.”
“Intellectually I know that, but in my gut… Hank, I watched my mother die, listened to her gasp for breath.”
“Darlin’, I’m so sorry you went through that and I’d tear the world apart if I could change it.”
“I know you would.” Her cheek rested against him and she relaxed.
“So help me understand why we can’t get married.”
She pushed out of his arms, sliding her clothes away from him at the same time, and took a step back. “Because if I married you, I’d be forcing you to sacrifice your dream life for my happiness. I love
you too much for that.”
“That makes no sense.”
Evidence of an internal battle crossed her face in the way her forehead wrinkled and she bit down on her bottom lip. “I had a hysterectomy. No kids. No family. I don’t know that I’ll ever want to adopt. Maybe God’s trying to tell me I’m not meant to have a family.”
The hazel-eyed, brown-skinned children he’d imagined playing football with flashed in front of him, then slowly faded away. Of all the things Beth could have said, he’d never expected this. He’d always wanted children of his own, always imagined the next generation of Laytons driving down the streets of Dry Creek, a town his family had helped to found.
While he tried to process the unexpected turn, Beth got dressed. She picked up her purse from the nightstand and turned toward the door.
He snapped out of his daze and chased after her. Gathering her in his arms, he buried his face in her silky hair. “Don’t go. It doesn’t matter. We don’t have to have kids or we can adopt or it can just be us. You are meant to have a family. Let me be your family. I love you, Beth.”
She turned in his arms, brushing his cheek with her lips. “I love you too, which is why I can’t do this. Goodbye, Hank.”
His first instinct was to chase, but he’d been doing that for so long now without accomplishing anything but spooking Beth and pressuring her to run.
Paralyzed by hurt, he stood naked next to the bed in which they’d made love and watched her walk out the door.
Chapter Twenty-One
Beth cursed her luck.
The flight from Vegas had been fine, but now the turbo jet between Denver and Dry Creek had been grounded with equipment problems. The flight had been canceled. The five-hour drive to Dry Creek would be tedious, but it was better than feeling vulnerable in a strange city. Contemplating the line of fifty people ahead of her at the car rental desk, she wondered if she should just admit defeat, get a hotel room, and rest her throbbing arm.
The crowd emitted a loud groan. A harried clerk slapped down a sign. No cars available. In front of her, the line dispersed as people scattered like rats on a sinking ship to other rental car counters where the lines were already dozens of people deep.
