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Charlie shut his eyes. ‘He’d had a bleed?’
Carrie nodded. ‘Massive. No sooner had we discovered this than he vomited, and it was just all blood, some old, a lot fresh. There was so much of it and it was so red against these white, white sheets, and it covered his pale floppy body like a river.’ Carrie shuddered. ‘I had nightmares for a year about the blood.’
Charlie remembered the way she had looked at the blood pumping out of the road-accident victim and her behaviour suddenly made sense. He cringed, thinking how insistent he’d been.
‘We cannulated him, filled him with fluid and rushed him to Theatre to locate the source of the bleed and have it cauterised, but it was too late. He arrested on the table. The coroner found that Harry’s operative site had probably been trickling for days and he’d been swallowing it and had presented the second time in irreversible hypovolaemic shock.’
Charlie felt for Carrie. She’d been through an awful experience. No wonder her faith in herself as a practitioner was permanently dented. ‘And because you were the doctor who saw him that night, you carried the can? That’s rough.’
Carrie nodded. ‘I was suspended immediately pending an internal hospital review. That’s when I inherited my desk job. The medical director was delighted to have someone with a business degree around. The review found I had no case to answer but it was automatically referred to the Registration Board so I was kept on suspension from clinical duties pending that decision.
‘And to be perfectly honest, I was mess. I was so upset about that poor little boy and stressed out by the enormity of it all, it played havoc with my body. I lost weight, I couldn’t sleep and when I did I had nightmares.’
Charlie could tell by the haunted look in her eyes that she’d been through the mill. ‘I hope you received counselling.’
‘Yes, and it helped but then I discovered I was pregnant. And Rupert, Dana’s father, who hadn’t been very supportive during the whole process at all, dropped me like a hot cake.’
Charlie shook his head in amazement. ‘Nice.’
‘Oh, yeah, just what I needed. And as D-day approached the more panicky I became. I didn’t want to be struck off or have any further disciplinary action taken against me, but the thought of going back to clinical practice scared me more. I felt like I was in limbo.’
Charlie nodded. That was a very apt description. Limbo. Waiting for the elevator ride up or down.
‘So when my letter arrived I couldn’t bring myself to open it, either. I mean, I’d put my whole life on hold waiting for the damn thing but when it arrived I was too scared to open it.’
‘But you did, right?’
Carrie shook her head. ‘After looking at it for five hours, I got into my car and drove ’ round to my sister’s shop and got her to open it.’
Charlie stared at her, trying to fathom how truthful she was being. She looked embarrassed, sitting there chewing her lip, and he laughed out loud. ‘You really did, didn’t you?’
‘Yep.’ She nodded. ‘I really did.’
‘And it was good news?’
‘They agreed with the hospital review and my suspension was lifted immediately. But by then I knew I couldn’t ever go back. Even now, I still see his face, have nightmares about the blood. Not as much as in the beginning, but it’s still affecting me.’
Which was a travesty. The glimpses he’d seen of her clinical side screamed of her competence. Even that night on the road, her professional instincts had shown through despite the demons she’d battled in her head. The way she’d applied pressure to the pumping artery had been one hundred per cent professional.
They both stared into their coffee, lost in their own thoughts for a minute.
Charlie came to a decision. ‘You open it for me.’ He picked up the envelope and held it out to her.
Carrie looked at him and the envelope then back at him. The denial that rose inside her died on her lips. He was serious. His grey gaze was steady, unflinching.
‘Come on.’ He grinned. ‘Pretend you’re my sister.’
If only. At least this insane attraction she felt for him wouldn’t be an issue. Her hand shook slightly as she accepted the envelope. Carrie removed the letter-opener from her laptop bag and slit the envelope open. She pulled the path form out and scanned it briefly.
‘Negative.’ She smiled, turning it around to show him.
Charlie didn’t do anything for a few seconds as the news sank in. Negative. Negative. Negative. It echoed around his brain. ‘Negative.’ He smiled back at Carrie.
She nodded and then laughed as the smile on his face grew broader.
