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After Eric she had doubted her skills, her ability, her clinical judgement—had even contemplated giving up nursing altogether. But her family had convinced her to work on 2B and slowly her faith had been restored.
Until yesterday.
The kettle boiled and then switched itself off, and she poured their tea automatically. She picked both mugs up and carried them through to the lounge, conscious of Callum’s gaze on her back. She placed them on the coffee-table and took a seat.
Callum was too restless to sit. He didn’t know why he’d come. What he was doing there. He’d just known he’d had to come. He prowled around the room, commenting on the view over the Brisbane River, touching her books, picking up the trophy she’d won at sports day when she’d been nine, admiring her CD collection.
He turned to her and shrugged. ‘I don’t know why I’m here.’
Hailey sipped her tea. ‘It’s OK.’ She supposed it’d become clear to him sooner or later. All she knew was she was glad.
He picked up some framed photos, snapshots of her childhood, but he didn’t appear to really be taking them in. Not until he picked up the last one, anyway.
‘You put it in a frame?’ Callum turned round and held out the photo he’d discovered forgotten in the pages of her book.
Hailey paused, the mug of tea halfway to her mouth. She nodded. Her gaze took in the photo again. Took in the happy faces of the people who all seemed like strangers to her now. Back when no dark clouds had hung on her horizon and life had been bright and breezy.
She put the mug down without taking a sip. ‘Yes.’
Callum stared into the smiling faces, none of them aware of the whammy that had lurked round the corner. He remembered those years when he and Tom had been indomitable. ‘He looks like a nice kid.’
She swallowed. ‘He was.’ It still hurt to use the past tense.
‘They look happy. You all look happy.’ Paul looked as if he’d won the lotto. The look of a man secure in his life and sure of his world. Callum had a picture of Annie and himself and Tom as a baby just before Annie’s diagnosis. They’d both looked like that. So…so damn cocky.
Hailey shut her eyes, a lump lodging in her throat. ‘They were. We were.’
Callum looked at her. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…’
She opened her eyes and looked at him. ‘It’s OK.’
She watched him replace the frame gently, reverently. He pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and rocked on his heels.
There was more silence while he rocked and she slowly sipped her tea. She couldn’t explain it but there was a strange tension between them tonight. A vibe. He obviously didn’t know what was going on inside him and she could sense his confusion. Heaven knew, she felt just as uncertain.
Yesterday’s incident had shifted the dynamic between them. It should have damaged them but somehow, with him here in front of her, it seemed it had done the opposite. It didn’t feel as if he was there to blame her. It felt like he was there to connect with her. Even if he wasn’t sure why.
‘This is the first night I’ve spent away from Tom since he was born.’
Hailey let the statement settle for a while between them. ‘That must be weird for you.’
He stalked over to where she had placed his mug and picked it up. ‘Yes.’ He brought the hot drink to his lips and took a sip. He looked into the murky depths of the tea, the weight of her gaze heavy on his skin. It tasted so…bland.
He looked up at her. ‘I’m sorry, do you have something…stronger.’
Hailey blinked. This was serious. ‘I have some beer left over from when Gabe and Beth last came over for tea.’
‘Beer would be great.’ Callum breathed a sigh of relief.
Hailey rose. She retrieved a long-necked beer from the fridge, cracked the lid and was acutely aware of the frostiness against her fingers as she passed it wordlessly to Callum.
‘Thanks,’ he said, taking a long drag. The bitter taste swirled around his tongue and he felt the muscles in his shoulders relax a notch. He took another mouthful as he thought about words he could use to make sense of his intrusion.
‘I’ve been thinking a lot since yesterday.’
‘I panicked.’
He ignored her, running his finger over the frosty beer label. ‘I picked up the phone a hundred times to call you.’
‘You didn’t have to.’
‘Yes, I did. I shut you out.’
She shrugged. ‘I overreacted. I scared you.’
He gave her a half-smile. Yes, she had. ‘I think you scared yourself more.’
Hailey shivered, remembering the moment of blind panic, the crippling sense of déjà vu. ‘I should have used my eyes, my…skills instead of allowing something from my past override my common sense.’
