AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘So because you weren’t a blood relation, because you didn’t give birth to him, your feelings didn’t matter? Didn’t you need his reassurance, his support?’
‘His son had just died. I guess he wasn’t thinking about anyone else,’ she said wearily.
‘Doesn’t look like much has changed.’
‘Callum,’ she said reproachfully.
‘He’s not a priest, Hailey. And you didn’t commit any sins. He can’t give you the absolution you seek. No one but you can do that.’
Hailey rubbed her temples. Callum was being less than tolerant of Paul. Surely he of all people should understand? ‘Is it so wrong to want to live the rest of my life knowing he doesn’t blame me?’
‘No, it’s just human. But until you stop blaming yourself, is it going to matter what he or anybody else thinks?’
‘He says he loves me.’
Callum rubbed his hand over his head, this conversation too, too much for him to comprehend. ‘He’s got a funny way of showing it.’
‘Callum.’
‘What? First he drops you like a hot cake when his ex-wife came back on the scene and then it took him over a year to figure things out?’
She ignored his barb about the ex. ‘I think he’s had a bit on his plate,’ she said derisively.
‘What happens when his ex comes back again?’
Hailey felt suddenly chilled, thinking about the disruption Donna had caused the first time around. She brushed her hands up and down her arms. ‘Donna’s remarried,’ she said quietly.
He noticed the stiltedness of her voice and realised this tack wasn’t getting him anywhere. He sighed. ‘Do you love him?’ She opened her mouth to answer but he was so afraid she’d say yes he continued, qualifying his question further. ‘I mean, truly love him, not out of some sense of guilt or blame or some warped way of apologising for imagined wrongs.’
Callum braced himself for her answer. Had she been holding a candle for Paul the whole time they’d been attracted to each other? What if her guilt led her to make the ultimate sacrifice?
Well, damn it all, he was used to fighting, wasn’t he? He’d fought for Annie and for Tom and if she thought he’d stand aside and let her go to Paul out of some weird sense of duty, that he wouldn’t fight like hell for her, she was wrong. He had already lost one woman he loved, he wasn’t going to sit back and lose another.
She looked at him. ‘I don’t think I know what love is any more.’
‘Yeah? Well, I know what its not. It’s not reproachful or condescending or unforgiving. It doesn’t hold to ransom or indulge in subtle bribery. It doesn’t punish and it’s certainly not aloof.’
Hailey’s heart thudded in her chest and pounded in her ears. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her. ‘You seem to know an awful lot about it.’
‘Of course I do, Hailey. I’m looking at it. I’m in love with you.’ He stood, waiting for her to say something. She stared at him for what seemed an age and he shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘I realised the other night, after we’d made love. But I think I knew even before that. Do you remember taking Tom’s hand at the ball? Protecting him from my wrath?’
Hailey smiled and nodded, remembering the night Tom had scared the life out of her, drawn to her stockings like a moth to a flame.
‘Then. That was the moment.’
‘Oh, Callum…’
‘No, it’s OK. You don’t have to say anything. I know you’re dealing with a lot at the moment and I don’t want some knee-jerk reaction in either direction. But I needed you to know. Wanted you to know.’
Hailey hadn’t expected this. She knew there was an attraction between them that she’d never experienced in her life before. Not with any of a string of pretty boys pre-London and certainly not with Paul. But love? She hadn’t expected that. She stood. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
Callum felt a crushing sense of loss and disappointment. ‘I love you too’ is customary. ‘I think if you don’t know the answer then that’s pretty telling.’
‘No, Callum,’ she said hastily. ‘This is a lot to take in with everything else…My head is spinning.’
He nodded, jamming his hands further into his pockets. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. Hold her tight until the frown line between her brows vanished and the confusion in her eyes disappeared. ‘You should go.’
She took a step towards him. ‘Callum—’
He held up his hand. ‘It’s OK, Hailey. I’m a big boy and you have a lot to think about.’
