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“Everyone new gets shunned or made to work offsite at first.”
Rory broke eye contact. He turned to Cadence. “Shunned.”
“Orrin says it’s a kindness because it helps people let go of their outside lives quicker.”
He wasn’t in the mood to play along. “Being eighty-sixed isn’t a kindness.” It was terror. “It’s a manipulation. It’s meant to scare you into compliance and make sure you don’t step out of line.”
“Oh, I, ah.”
If Cadence could shrink any further away from him without making herself disappear, she would. They couldn’t convincingly sell a bond if she was terrified of him. He spread his hand out on the table, scraped knuckles, his thumbnail black. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m worried about Rosie. It’s not easy being new here.”
It wasn’t newbie status pushing his emotions around, it was the weighted memory of Rory coming apart in his arms in the barn and her utter distress by the sink. When he’d rubbed out her orgasm and admitted his feelings, he’d roughed raw her certainty.
“If you don’t want to do this, you should just say,” Cadence said. “You don’t owe me.”
A light touch to his shoulder that made him turn. Susan. Jesus, he’d been so distracted by Rory he’d not made time to talk to Susan. Another apology needed.
“I can make it easier for you if you’ll let me,” Susan said.
“Ah, Susan.” He pushed a hand through his hair and stood. “After how I treated you, the time of day is too much consideration. I was a dick and I’m sorry.”
She smiled. “You were a dick, but you’re new here and it’s not easy.”
What else had she heard? “It’s not that hard to be considerate and I fucked that up.”
“I surprised you. How about we start again? Tonight is the night for these conversations after all.”
Over Susan’s shoulder he saw Rory arguing with a man at the edge of the gathering.
“The thing is I’m attracted to you and I think we’d make a beautiful baby. I basically think about babies while having sex and I get pregnant so it’s not like you’ll need to work that hard. I’m not clingy either. You can ask others about that. You won’t have any trouble moving on after we’re done. Assuming I can’t convince you to stay with me, that is.”
Rory was on her way back to the table, eyes down, her shoulders up. What was the argument about?
“Zack, are you listening?”
He refocused on Susan. “I’m listening, and I appreciate your offer. I’m flattered you’d still consider me.” There was no polite way to say this other than to be direct. “I’m going to bond with Cadence.”
Susan threw her hands up. “You’re not serious. She might not even be fertile. And I heard her say you didn’t owe her. She can’t help you like I can. She has no influence with Orrin. If you bond with me, everything will get easier.”
Easier for Rory? Was he missing a trick here because his focus was so shattered? Could Susan smooth the way for Rory? Keep her safer?
Movement behind him. Cadence pushing away from the table, her chair tipping over. “Susan is right. You don’t want to bond with me.” She righted the chair. “Why would you? I’m a nobody and I don’t even like sex.” She took a step away. “It’s a dumb idea and I can’t do anything for you.”
“Cadence.”
She shook her head, turned her back on them. He moved to go after her and Susan put her arm out to stop him. “There’s your decision.”
Jesus Christ. He’d rather be tied to a camp chair and beaten silly than stuck in the middle of this. He watched Cadence walk away, deliberately avoiding Rory as she approached.
He turned back to Susan. “What do you mean you can help me?”
“You probably think we’re all equals here. That’s what Spencer tells people. It’s not true. Every society needs leaders. There’s an inner circle who make all the decisions, and if you’re the father of my child you’d be part of that.”
Could he make a bond with Susan to gain entry into the inner circle, to advantage Rory? He could find a dozen ways to hold Susan at arm’s length, turn things into a courtship and win time until he ran out of excuses to sleep with her or found the evidence they needed to shut Abundance down.
“It’s sweet you want to bo
nd out of pity but it’s so unnecessary. You know my offer. I’m the best match you can make. Enjoy the ceremony,” Susan said. He let her go unchallenged like he’d done with Cadence because he needed to think.
