Page 14 of Unsuitable


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“You’d fall down dead if we made anything easy for you,” said Neev.

“That’s true.”

“Why don’t you live with Sky?” Neev prodded. “You like, love her and stuff.”

If only it was that easy. Sky was tired of waiting for him to commit to moving in. But if he did, it was... jeez, it was too hard. “Why live with one woman when I can clean up after five?”

Neev mimed fat old man. “Ho, ho, ho.”

Etta smirked.

Flip said, ”What’s a wet dream?” and everything got very quiet, horror movie before the stupid blonde chick goes out where she was going to get killed quiet. “It doesn’t have anything to do with mermaids, does it?”

Reece groaned. “Nothing to do with fish or the ocean. Etta will tell you.” Let’s see how dicks for girls girl cuts it on that.

Etta shook her head and glared at him. “No, I won’t. You want me to come to your weirdo job interview you explain it.”

“She’s ten, Etta.” He looked at Flip, looking at him. How the stuff did they get here?

“I’ll tell her,” said Neev.

“You’re thirteen, how do you even know?”

“I’m fourteen and I can read.”

“Somebody tell me,” said Flip. “Is it just for boys?”

The three of them looked at him with eyes that could probably tell he wore blue undies and at the same time would be grossed out to learn he did. He was thinking of a way out of this when Flip whispered, “Is there blood?”

Ah, shit, one of them had been telling her stories. Etta kept her eyes on her screen and Neev made a detailed study of a tea stain on the counter. Which meant it was probably Gin. The whole menstruation thing was Mum’s gig, but you couldn’t live with five women and not become more expert than your average guy about the curse, and Flip was worried.

“No, Flipper, there’s no blood. It’s not about that. It’s something that happens, mostly to boys and it doesn’t hurt.”

“They wet the bed, don’t they?” She wouldn’t look at him.

“Not exactly. It’s not piss.”

Neev giggled. Etta said, “Don’t get into me about swearing.”

Flip’s face was bright red. “You don’t have to tell me.” But he could see she was imagining all sorts of shit. Did he even want to know what Gin had told her?

“You know how boys have sperm,” he managed to say without going falsetto. She nodded.

Neev said. “Gross,” and Etta snickered.

“Sometimes when they’re asleep some might come out.” If he used the word ejaculate, that’d only bring more carry-on and he’d be here all day explaining. There wasn’t enough embarrassment in the world for that.

Flip’s face was pink. All the girls were like Mum, pale, blonde and skinny with brown eyes, where his hair was so dark it was almost black and his eyes were green, but there was something about the shape of Flip’s face that made them at least look like they might be related, and he could still occasionally blush exactly like she did.

“Out of where?” she whispered.

“Of their wang,” said Etta.

Neev shrieked and slapped her hands over her mouth and Flip’s face turned scarlet. Reece thought she might cry. “Jesus, Etta.”

“Jesus, Reece.”

Neev flung her arms over her head, twinkled her fingers. “Jesus loves you.”

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