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Reece wished he didn’t. Not caring would be easier. Had to be the lack of sleep, no exercise, the sun making him crabby. Or it was the assumption that he’d cheat on Sky with Carrie, that he was letting Audrey use him, that Audrey was somehow wrong for thinking she could be a single mum and have a family and a career. That he was suspect for wanting to be a nanny. That he would always have to prove he wasn’t. That equality was a joke, and there were still different rules for men and women.
Mia buried Toby shovelful, by shovelful. The boy wiggled, impatient to be entombed.
He thought about the way Audrey relaxed into his body when he massaged her neck. And when she’d put her hands on his face, he’d had to think about dirty nappies and cleaning up vomit to stop himself from folding her into his arms. She worked so hard, she looked so worn and in need of comfort and he could do that for her. He wanted to do that for her.
Something passed between them last night and he didn’t know what to make of it. Maybe it was that they were both half asleep. Maybe that’s all it was, a moment out of place. Still, he hadn’t wanted to leave her, and though he felt bad about upsetting Sky, he couldn’t sort out the reason. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Certainly not by Carrie’s standards.
Mia had buried Toby to his waist, his hands locked under the sand. “I’m going to need to vacuum the car again,” said Junna.
Reece sat back on his heels. Any minute now Toby would discover he was good and stuck and want to get out. Crossing over with Audrey this morning had been a blur. She wouldn’t make eye contact. Mia was having a fit about a tear in her fairy dress. She wanted it sewn up. Audrey was paler than ever. They’d passed in the hallway with hardly a word, except her promise not to be late while Mia stomped about crying. He’d glued the dress, his big fingers no good with fine needles and made Mia laugh by pretending to stick his fingers together. He wished he’d been able to make her mother laugh too.
“Tantrum in five, four, three,” said Junna, and Toby erupted, tossing his head, launching a storm of wriggling to shift the sand. He was locked in torso deep and screamed at the injustice of it. Mia moved away, eyeing him with suspicion. The guys at the shore turned to see who was being killed
Reece stood, grabbed Toby under the arms and hauled him out of his sand grave, putting him on his feet well away from the hole where he stood panting, hatless, a tear streaked face.
Toby looked at Mia. “Do it again.”
They were saved that treat by lunch arriving and while the kids were still eating, sucking on juice bottles, and kicking sand at each other, Reece excused himself to go for a run. If he couldn’t sleep, moving might help nix his mood. He took his shirt off and no one even glanced at him. He was such a dickhead for thinking they’d make a thing of it.
He went down to the hard packed sand at the shoreline. He’d do two or three quick laps and then they’d move to the playground before going off in their separate directions for another week. He got half a lap done before he heard someone coming up behind him. The feet drew closer and Carrie came up beside him. They ran a lap together, not talking. She was fit, had no trouble keeping up with him.
When they stopped at the end closest to where the others were, she said, “I’m not sorry.”
He looked back towards the group. “About what?”
“About wanting to sleep with you.”
He was glad for his sunnies. “I don’t know what you want me to say. You know I live with Sky.”
“I know you’re not married to her. I know you’re young and gorgeous and life is short. I know you’re a great nanny and I’m sorry I doubted you.”
“As soon as people get that I’m the nanny not the dad, they doubt me. It’s all over their faces.”
“I know and I’m sorry about that too. People are shit.” She put her hand on his arm and he realised how close they were standing.
“Audrey said you’d try to seduce me.”
Carrie laughed. “She rang and told me to lay off, but I think you can make your own decisions.”
He looked down at his feet, buried in the wet sand. He could do this. Hero points with Polly. Sky wouldn’t have to know. No one had to know. Last night he’d wanted to kiss Audrey, pick her up and take her to bed, spoon around her as she slept. He couldn’t have thoughts like that and be faithful to Sky. Or keep his job. He could exhaust them on Carrie’s body instead. It was a reasonable solution to keep everything else in balance.
He shook his head. This used to be easier. Before Sky he wasn’t that scrupulous. Before Audrey he wasn’t restless.
Carrie stepped closer. She kissed his shoulder. “You know where to find me.”
She ran back the way they’d come and he followed, her open invitation tucked in his conscience where it irritated. He was a prick to even think about other women when he had Sky. He needed to get his head on straight and sort it out with her. She was the best thing that had happened to him. He loved her and they could make it work.
He got back in time to help the group pack up. He carried the tent and two scooters, plus the rest of Mia’s gear. On the walkway, the scooters were claimed, helmets were clipped on. They made their way to the park, letting the kids ride, race each other, double back, laughing. Mia fell off, went down on her bum and got back up again without a pause. More of her skirt was torn. He’d need to get the glue out again. Eugenia ran into a light pole and knocked her helmet off. It was nothing out of the ordinary until Toby face planted the concrete. A clipped wheel, a divot in the concrete, something made him tip forward. He wasn’t screaming but Junna, who was on him in a heartbeat, was. There was a lot of blood, on Toby, on her.
“Hailey, get my stuff. I need a towel. Carrie is there any ice left? Toby, Toby, you’re all right. Someone bring my car.”
Reece dropped his armloads and went to Junna. She rocked Toby in her arms. He’d either bitten his tongue or put a tooth through his lip. He was holding his breath in shock, going blue. Reece shouted at him and he burst into tears, dragging in big gulps of breath though his bloody mouth. Mia held onto his leg, hands dragging on his boardies.
Carrie pushed car keys into his hand. “We’ll follow you to Prince of Wales.”
He detached Mia, bent and scooped Toby into his arms. Mia was wailing. “Mia, stay with Carrie and Eugenia. Let me help Toby, okay.” It had to be. He got Toby to Junna’s car, but she was too shaky to drive. Fifteen minutes later he pulled up at casualty, double parked and carried Toby inside. They saw him straight away. He’d put his tooth through his lip and he needed a couple of stitches.
Carrie brought Mia in and they waited with Junna till Toby’s parents arrived. He was worried more for Junna than Toby now. It could’ve been any of the kids. He sent Audrey a message to tell her where they were and what happened. He didn’t hear back from her.
