Page 45 of Offensive Behavior


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“Bath sex. That wasn’t on the list.”

“Call it a bonus special.”

They fooled around while the bath filled and then they soaked in it, wrapped in each other. The sex when it happened was slippery and playful and showed off Zarley’s flexibility. She did things with her body he didn’t know a body was capable of and he thought he’d seen all her moves on the pole. Seeing how flexible, how much control she had made him ache for her.

She had him sweating for it, sloshing water on the floor and moaning like a dying cow. He’d have sold himself into slavery for her or willingly drowned to have her at his lips and his cock and his heart like this every bath time.

Half in, half out of the water, poised above him like a demon mermaid who might as easily strangle him as fall asleep in his arms, she was captivating. “You’re a dream. A dream I never had.”

“You have me.”

For now. But she was slick and knowing and he was floundering, out of his depth in unchartered waters.

“I could love you for this bath alone.”

He was lost in her, in the secret world she had the key for and even with his own map, drawn from new experience, he knew he’d never have this time again with someone else. He needed to find a way to hold her for longer than a time-out.

He ordered pizza for dinner and they ate on the floor that could’ve done with a rug, in front of the TV. Then they went to Lordran for a pilgrimage out of the Undead Asylum to discover the fate of the Undead. Zarley spend a lot of time in hollow form and it pissed her off to be ghostly.

“Why can’t I get to the bonfire and heal like you do?”

“Because I’m boss,” he said, trying to stop a beast from barbecuing him.

“Ya, no, no. Oww. That bird thing with the pointy beak just carried me away.”

She wrenched the controller out of his hand and the beast flamed him. “Great, now I’m dead.”

“You said this was easy.”

Totally, not. One of the hardest games there is. “Yup. Easy.”

“Did Sarina happen to mention you’re an incredibly bad liar.” She had and that was part of his problem. Apparently sometimes it was polite to skirt around the truth, and keep the peace, but he’d never mastered the act. He scored as a grand master manipulator, but he stank as a liar.

“We don’t have to play.” He fumbled about for the remote. “We can watch a movie.”

She got in his face. “We’re playing and we’re having an extra little wager on the side. If you win, you win me. I’ll give you any sexual fantasy you want tonight.”

How many times in one day was she going to set off a charge in his brain? He stroked a finger over her cheek. “If you win?”

“If I win.” She closed her eyes and he waited on her decision, it might as well have been life or death. “If I win, you give me my sexual fantasy.”

“Kinky ninja rodeo sex I have no idea about.” If he won, his only fantasy was to wake up with her.

She laughed. It was a last laugh kind of laugh an

d it put a shiver up his spine. “You at my feet while I dance. It’s your job to entice me to strip. You have to outbid every other man there.”

He felt his eyes bug. “I thought you couldn’t strip at Lucky’s.”

“I didn’t say it had to be at Lucky’s.”

“Holy fuck. If I lose, you strip for me, publicly, like in a kinky way. If I win, I win you, doing whatever sex magic thing I want tonight. Let me repeat that, whatever I want.”

She nodded.

“I need to teach you how to negotiate, you’re shit at it. I win no matter what happens.”

“You think? I keep the money and I don’t strip cheap. I’ve never stripped, so you can imagine the kind of stake it might take.”

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