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He felt the familiar sickening waves of guilt, hated to relive the night it all went to shit. But to make her understand, he would.
“Tony came to me, all excited about bringing me into this big job. Knoll said he wanted to steal a necklace from a business rival, humiliate him, show him who was boss. From one of those big estates on the North Shore.” He remembered Tony showing him a picture of the jewels. “It was a Harry Winston Diamond Riviere Necklace, worth half a mil. Knoll told Tony he could keep it; he just wanted to teach his rival a lesson.” He snorted. “We should have known right then it was a set-up. Knoll would never not take a cut.”
His stomach started to hurt, and his voice went hoarse. “I didn’t want to do it. I was on my own by then, following my own rules. But Tony assured me that it would be easy. The place was going to be empty, and Knoll gave him the codes to the alarm system. All I needed to do was scale the wall to the estate to bypass the security guards, and then walk right in the back door and disable the alarm with the codes. Hell, I wouldn’t even need to hurry.”
“Why didn’t Tony just do it himself?”
“He didn’t advertise it to his employers, but he had pretty bad arthritis in his wrists and knees by then.” Adam picked up one of her hands, held it in his lap. “He drove me there, parked down the road from the estate and waited. The codes were crap, of course. As soon as I entered them, the alarm went off.
“I fucked up then.” He’d never said it aloud before. It hurt and felt good at the same time. “I fucked up so bad. If I’d run out a different door, I could have gotten away. But I panicked and ran out the same door I came in. I didn’t know it then, but the chime of the alarm was different depending on which keypad the code was entered into. So when it went off, the security guards had a pretty good idea what door I’d be coming out of. When I ran out of the house, they had guns on me.”
He still remembered the sharp blast of fear, the knowledge in his bones that his life was over.
“When he heard the alarm and I didn’t appear, Tony should have driven away. Instead, he somehow got onto the property. The guards didn’t know where he came from and assumed he’d been inside with me. We were both arrested.”
He squeezed her hand. “That’s why my prints are in the system.”
“But you weren’t convicted?”
“Tony pled guilty on the condition that I got off. He spun up some story about how I had no idea what we were doing, that I thought we were visiting a friend.” He shrugged. “Tony had priors and I didn’t. I’m sure the DA didn’t buy it, but he got a bad guy and avoided a trial.”
He leaned over and smelled Jess’s hair one more time. Lilacs and vanilla. Then he gently pulled away. She probably wouldn’t like what he was going to say next and he couldn’t bear to feel her stiffen against him.
“Tony gets parole in September. Knoll’s smuggled diamonds are for him.” His throat tightened. “He’s practically an old man now, an ex-con, with no money.”
He refused to look back at Jess, to see the disapproval he knew would be on her face. She didn’t say a word, but he went on the defensive anyway. “He’s the only family I have, Jess. He’s spent the last eight years in prison because I fucked up. He saved me as a kid. I can’t make up for the jail time, but I can make sure Knoll pays his price too. Sedarno will make his life a living hell when those diamonds go missing. And with those diamonds... I can see that Tony spends the rest of his life in safety and luxury.”
She still didn’t say a word. His voice rose, “It might sound stupid to you—”
“It doesn’t sound stupid at all,” she said.
He whirled to face her. Was she fucking with him? But no, she was just looking at him with understanding and sympathy in those big brown eyes.
“Does he blame you?”
He blinked, unable to process her simple acceptance. He’d known it already, but the woman was really too good to be true. Or at least, too good to be his. “How could he not?”
A line formed between her eyebrows. “You haven’t visited him? Written him?”
He let out a harsh bark. Was she insane? “In prison? Of course not. I’m sure he hates me. I’d be the very last person he’d want to see or hear from. It’d be like taunting him with my freedom.”
She blew out a long breath. “I think you’re wrong, Adam.” Her voice was low and serious. “You should go see him.”
She always managed to surprise him. He thought she’d argue with him over the diamonds and instead she wanted to talk about this? “He’s never written me either.”
“Probably because he’s exactly like you,” she said dryly. “Did you ever consider the possibility that he feels like he fucked up? That he brought you into that idiotic job and got you arrested? Maybe he thinks that you hate him.”
No. There was no way Tony didn’t blame him. But he couldn’t deny that her words created a tiny pinprick of hope in the heavy cloak of guilt that always hung over him.
But as she gazed at him, he realized he had no time to be hopeful. He’d wasted valuable minutes talking about unchangeable facts. He wanted to kick himself for taking comfort in her—again—when he needed to focus on getting her safe.
He stood up. “I need to tell you why I’m here, Jess. You’re in serious trouble.”
Chapter Twelve
Jess stood slowly, but her mind was racing. This night was making her dizzy. For weeks she’d been hoping Adam would appear in her apartment like this. Half so that she could punch him in the face for dropping her, and half so that she could push him to the floor and have her wicked way with him again.
In none of her fantasies did he sit in her hallway and confess his deepest secret to her with the weight of the world on his shoulders and his heart in his eyes. She couldn’t have guessed how such a conversation would make her want to wrap herself around him and never let go.
