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“Do you mean to end your engagement?”
She took so long to answer his insides began to tighten. If she didn’t plan to dismiss Faulkner-Jones, Edwin would have a time of it trying to convince her to marry him instead. But that was precisely what he intended to do.
“I believe so. However, I must speak with Father first to find out why this whole thing came about.”
Although he wasn’t happy with that response, it was better than her saying she intended to go through with it. If anyone could kill Rayne’s innate happy spirit and love of people in general, it would be the supercilious Mr. Robert Faulkner-Jones.
Is that the only reason you object to him?
He was not being honest with himself. He not only didn’t want to see her life thrown away with marriage to the stiff-necked man, he wanted Rayne for his own. To watch her marry another man would tear him apart. To live with him, share his bed, bear his children.
Just when he thought he was beginning to emerge from the darkness that had surrounded him and stolen his soul, it appeared the light that was Rayne might all disappear once more. However, until she understood the bleakness in him, and the part he played in his beloved sister’s death, he could not in all honesty encourage her to marry him.
“There is one thing I must tell you before you decide on any future for us.” This confession could only be completed if he could pace. Reaching for his cane, he stood and hobbled away from her.
“You should be sitting,” Rayne said in her doctor voice.
He ignored her and continued to hobble-pace. “I had a younger sister, Lady Lydia. Five years my junior. A lovely girl. Spirited, funny, and full of life. Once my father passed away, and I held the Sterling title, I became her guardian and protector.”
He snorted. “Some protector.” He rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb. “She was to have her come-out Season when she turned seventeen. We were still in mourning when it came time, so we stayed at our country estate.
“I thought it was a good idea because Lydia was young for her age. Innocent, but more so than other girls who she would be competing with during the Season. I should have been more aware of her propensity to trust easily, but then that was how she’d been raised. My father doted on her—the only girl with two boys—and protected her from most outside influences.
“When the time for her debut arrived, she was excited and we spent a great deal of time and money on tutoring, wardrobe, a finishing governess, all the usual things.” He stopped and ran his fingers through his hair. “We had my cousin, Mrs. Glencoe, act as chaperone since my mother passed shortly after Lydia’s birth.”
“I can see you are upset. I would really prefer if you sat down.” Rayne patted the empty space alongside her on the sofa.
“Very well.” He settled in next to her, actually grateful since his leg was troubling him with all the pacing he’d been doing, although he was loathe to admit it.
“I, however, was not the protector I should have been. I trusted Mrs. Glencoe to keep a close eye on Lydia, but I did nothing to make sure that was happening. It turned out Lydia was meeting with a young lord—who shall remain nameless.” He drew in a deep breath. “After only a few months into the Season she came to me broken-hearted.”
Rayne reached out and took his hand. “What happened?”
“She had used bad judgement and she was with child.”
Rayne sucked in her breath. “Oh, no. How terrible for her. Did the young lord not step up to do his duty?”
Edwin shook his head. “No. Apparently he told his father about Lydia’s condition and the vile man sent him off to Jamaica to manage land there that the family owned.”
“That’s terrible. Why would he do that? Many marriages start off because of those circumstances.”
“Yes. However, for whatever reason the lord’s father did not approve of Lydia, or our family. Rather than align himself with us, he chose to force his son to abandon my sister.”
“What happened next?”
“I sent Lydia back home to our country estate with plans to join her in a few weeks after I discreetly spoke with some people to see what could be done to avoid a scandal that could very well ruin her life.” He faltered at the last few words. “However, my sister chose to end her life instead.”
“Oh, Edwin! That is terrible. I had heard that your young sister died, but it was put about that she died of an undiagnosed illness.”
He nodded. “After being so derelict in my duties toward my sister, I had to do whatever was necessary to keep her good name. Even in death.”
* * *
Rayne’s heart broke with sympathy for the young girl who threw away her chance at a good life, and then ended it. Also for her brother who had suffered with what he felt was his part in the tragedy.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know.”
Instead of the explosion she’d expected from her remarks, he shook his head sadly and stared at his feet. “How can you say that! I was responsible for her well-being, and I failed.”
