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Melissa was rarely up this early, and certainly not rushing around the house. “Whoa. Wait up. Where are you going?”
Melissa heaved a huge sigh and turned back to face Erin. “We’ve covered this. I’m eighteen now. I don’t need you checking up on me anymore.”
Erin remembered how eighteen felt, like the world was at your fingertips and nothing could stop you. At least she’d felt that way before her mother died and everything changed. She couldn’t blame Melissa for wanting that kind of freedom.
She poured herself a cup of coffee and measured her words before she spoke. “I’m not checking up on you. I just wanted to know where you were going.”
“Me and some friends are headed to the beach. Gotta catch me some rays, and maybe do a little paddle boarding.” Her sister rushed out of the kitchen. Guess they were done talking.
“Sounds like fun,” she said to her retreating sister’s back. Erin brought her coffee cup to her mouth, the rich scent of the black walnut blend wafting to her nose before she drank a sip. Melissa will be okay. She just had to keep repeating that mantra in her head until she believed it. It was so hard to turn off the mothering instinct that she’d honed over the past ten years. But she was ready to. Was ready to be selfish for herself for a while.
Erin heard Melissa yell from the front door. “Bye, Daddy.”
Her father walked into the kitchen, his hair mussed but his eyes clear. His T-shirt hung loose on his body from years of losing weight. He couldn’t stand to lose anymore. She hated to see him like this, resigned to existing and not really living.
He leaned over and kissed Erin on the cheek before pouring himself some coffee.
“Hey, Daddy. Can I make you some breakfast?” She reached for the pan and spatula. It wouldn’t take long to whip up an omelet but if it got Daddy to eat something, she’d take being a few minutes late for Jake.
“No, honey. Coffee’s fine for now.”
She tried to mask her disappointment. “I’m concerned about you. You’re not taking care of yourself.”
He waved her off. “Pshaw. Stop your worrying.”
They’d had this argument so many times. She couldn’t live his life for him, had tried and failed for the past ten years. All she could do was live the life she wanted to live. Starting right now. “I’m going out for the day. Melissa just went with her friends to the beach.”
“Okay.” He stared down into his coffee, like he was waiting for something to happen. Erin halfway expected a plate of pancakes to show up in front of him. When her mother was alive, she had been up before the rest of them every day, putting a healthy breakfast on the table. And it always included pancakes.
Erin sighed. Her mother had made mornings happy and cheerful and they all missed her energy. Her father most of all.
After resting her hand on Daddy’s shoulder, she left him in the kitchen and approached the front window. She stared, her attention fixed on the road to town. She didn’t want to appear too anxious but she couldn’t wait to see Jake again. It had been so long since anxious butterflies had taken up residence in her belly.
Before long, a huge black truck covered in a layer of dirt ambled down the street. She laughed—the vehicle suited Jake perfectly. As he turned into the drivewa
y, she grabbed her backpack off the floor by the door and yelled back at her father. She wasn’t hiding Jake from her family, but she wasn’t quite ready to introduce him to her father. Wasn’t ready to answer the inevitable questions. “Bye, Daddy. I’m heading out.”
He mumbled a few words and waved his hand at her, his head now lowered over the newspaper. She’d probably find him there when she got home again. Same grief, different day.
After closing the door, she ran down the three steps of her porch and across the lawn. Jake opened his door as she skidded to a stop beside his truck. Anxious much? Heat rose on her cheeks and she resisted the urge to cover them with her hands.
“Hi.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. When did she get so awkward at this?
He smirked as he leaned back on his truck. Like he was cool as a cucumber while she was all tied up in knots. “Good morning.”
A nose poked through the window behind Jake and nudged the back of his head. Before she knew what had happened, he lunged forward, swiping at the back of his neck. “This is Bella. She wanted to join us today.”
He moved to the side so Erin could greet the beautiful golden retriever with solemn eyes and a great smile. The dog nuzzled Erin’s hand, her wet nose rubbing against Erin’s fingers. “Oh, she’s adorable.”
“I’m so glad you think so. I’m not sure we could be friends if you didn’t like my dog.”
“Is that what we are? Friends?” She slapped her hand over her mouth. What was she thinking? They’d just met, of course that’s what they were at this point. It wasn’t his fault her mind conjured images of so much more.
Jake hesitated for a moment, searching her eyes before answering. “So far?”
Erin laughed, happy he didn’t take her question so seriously. She didn’t know what made her so forward, so presumptuous. But something about Jake had called to her from the moment she saw him.
“Is that okay?”
