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Diana
“Why Jax? Why would you want to be with someone like me?” My chest tightens as he takes the keys from my shaking hands and opens the door to my house. I can’t breathe with the impending panic attack looming on the edge of my vision. Of all the little restaurants in our city he just had to find the one we happened to be at, Allen ruins everything.
“You have to even ask. You’re my girl. My. Girl.” Jax grabs me anchoring his hand in my hair pulling me close. His other palm cups my cheek brushing a tear away and traveling down, stroking me as if I’m porcelain and breakable. I am breakable. So breakable under his steady unwavering gaze because this man has wormed his way past my defenses and deep down into my heart.
“But all the shit that seems to follow me.” I make exc
uses as his head shakes and a small smile cracks his face wide. Jax is my superhero without the cape and he knows it, damn him.
He kisses my cheek reverently, affectionately whispering, “When was the last time someone took care of you? Just you?”
“I…” I don’t have an answer. I can’t remember the last time. My parents died in a car wreck as a kid and then I took care of my aunt and uncle. Then Maisy came along and there was no question of not caring for her, Allen had merely been a blip in my radar after her birth. Allen was useless. The only person in my life who really gave a damn was Piper, but she was a mother now and I couldn’t use her as the crutch she’d been to me for so long. Even Natalie, my boss, my wonderful pushy boss could only do so much.
My voice hitches and I choke on a sob.
Jax forces me to look him in the eye. “I don’t give a shit about what that pathetic excuse for a man has to say. He’s nothing.”
“He ruins everything.” She cries and I wipe her face clean.
“Not anymore he doesn’t. I’m going to take care of you Diana.” I watch her face change and wait for her to see how much conviction and promise I’ve made in that statement.
“Take care of me?”
“Correction, I want to take care of you, if you’ll let me.” He’s sweet and unexpected. He’s the sunshine on my rainy day and I’d had a lot of rainy days the past few years.
“It’s so hard to let that go. I feel adrift without that control.” I’m fighting this. Fighting him, but I don’t want to anymore.
“Diana let me in. Unravel just a fraction. I don’t want control. I want to be your shelter in the storm.” He pulls me in and I latch on unable to let go. I’m haunted, but living and I have to remember that. Until Jax pushed me out of my comfort zone, I’d been living life on pause waiting for Maisy to get better. I didn’t have that excuse anymore.
“I think I’d like that.” Our foreheads meet and I let out a deep shuddering breath. Most would feel freedom at letting go but I can’t ever fully let go and I think Jax realizes because he comes sweeping in and takes over just enough so that I don’t have time to think, protest or ask too many questions. He just does his thing and I’m steamrolled briefly, but perfectly.
“You could wreck me, you know that.” I tell him honestly.
He smiles, “I’m already wrecked. Let me be the anchor.”
“Just once.” Conceding is hard.
“God Diana, I better make it good then or I’ll never live this down.”
“No pressure, right?” I tease him. We’re talking more than about sex. We’re talking about the forevers, the happily ever afters and the in-betweens.
“Nope. None at all.” He keeps enough distance between us so I don’t feel his huge erection pressing against his jeans. I sure as hell see it and my nerves ratchet up.
Jax leans in, his fingers press gently in the hollows of my cheek. He pulls me in closer kissing me. Our mouths meet and I forget to breathe taking him into my mouth. His tongue strokes deep and I go with the flow for a change. My head is woozy and light surrendering. He waits out the roll of tension I feel and keeps kissing me slow and gentle. It’s a miracle I don’t panic and run away. He’s so warm, strong and good to me I barely think about running at all. In fact, I’m sure my legs are cemented in place. His hands span my back pulling me closer. His fingers make an exploratory find slipping under my shirt and resting underneath the hooks of my bra strap.
“Is this okay?” He asks.
“Yeah.” I have to clear my throat and I feel the slight pressure and then release of those hooks as my breast sag down heavy under his gaze. He unclasps the back and runs those huge hands of his up and down my back. If feels so good. I don’t think it’s ever felt like this but the only other experience I’ve had was my ex-husband and obviously he was shit in bed. The only orgasm I experienced in the last decade had sadly been one of my own doing.
Jax sits me down on the end of the bed. I tip back and he leans down to pull my jeans off. Slowly the rough cotton pulls from my legs and he tosses them back. My shoes are long gone so he grips the sides of my panties and pulls those off too. A slight pop in the cotton makes my body flush and wet for him. He isn’t rough but he isn’t gentle either and the combination of him keeping himself barely in check is hot enough to make me moan and writhe on the bed grasping for him.
“God you are so lovely.” He pulls his shirt off followed by shoes and jeans. He’s naked in seconds and I’m excited to see him in his full glory. “Every inch of you is perfect.” He kisses me dragging it out when all I want to do is touch him and look him exploring every tactile sensation I can.
“I’m not perfect, Jax.” I pull him down over me. My hands grab for his biceps and he presses into me releasing a fraction of the pent up pressure I feel for him.
“You’re mine, Diana.”
“I like being yours.”
