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We stand together on the deck of the boat as she pulls up to the marina. Not many words have been spoken, and really, what can be said? My hope is she’ll work things out with her family and her sister will be okay, because if not, then I don’t know what my girl will do with the guilt I know she’s been harboring since she picked up the phone. I hope she’ll come back to me as unscarred as possible, but there’s no guarantee, and it’s nothing I can control. Wounds of the heart are not easily mended with the baggage the mind harbors.
The ride to the airport is just as silent. I park the car up front illegally. They can tow my fucking car for all I care. Another minute with Abigail Holliday is worth the ticket. “Roman…” She’s bitten her lips puffy and glassy eyes look back at me.
“I am not going anywhere, Hollywood,” I assure her, taking her small hand in mine.
“But I am.” Her voice wavers.
“But never far from here.” I take her palm and risk putting it over my heart, trying to convey the exact thing I am terrified of saying. I’ve lost everyone else I’ve ever loved. If she rejects me, I’ll be de
stroyed. How did I let this girl close enough to mess my head and heart over so hard and so fast?
“I don’t know how long…” Trailing off, her hand clutches my shirt over my heart painfully. At least we’ll both feel the loss.
“Hush…” Soothing her, I say, “I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to come back.” Blonde curls escape from her braid and I gently push them away from her face before I go around the truck to help her out. I grab her bag of clothes and we walk into the airport holding hands. Checking the boards, I see her plane is on fucking time. Of course, it couldn’t be late or delayed now when I want a fraction more time to spend with her.
The ticketing counter has her ticket ready, and she still has to go through security and boarding. Even I couldn’t finagle priority passenger status for her and I did have Gary try.
“So this is it.” Abby hasn’t told me much about her conversation with her father, but I know it isn’t good. I hug her and she clings to me as much as I cling to her. Leah has been diagnosed with cancer, which could mean anything until she physically gets to see her for herself, and feels reassured. We don’t know anything about her prognosis. I hope for Abby’s sake this is all a stupid plot to manipulate her home temporarily and that nothing is as bad as it seems. Douche-canoe still has a job with her dad’s firm, but he’s not my competition. I think the competition I have to fear most is Abby’s inability to tell her family no, especially her dad. It would be hard for me to make the move to LA right now. Although not entirely impossible, it’s not something feasible for at least a year with the projects I have ongoing, but Abby doesn’t know that.
“Flight 437 to Los Angeles is now boarding at Gate A11.” I step back from her, looking her over one last time, fucking interfering PA systems. Of course, she would happen to be one of the last gates in the terminal. Luckily, there’s no line at security and the guy is waving us on. I can’t go because I don’t have a ticket. Why didn’t I get a fucking ticket?
“I’ll make sure your car gets back to you and whatever you need from the cottage. Maddie has everything under control in Gold Beach,” I tell her, tucking my bright blue scarf around her neck a little tighter.
“Roman.” A teary smile rests in my palm as I hold her face to mine.
“And I want you to call me every day, not because I’m creepy, but because I want to know if you’re okay.” I let my hands slip to her shoulders and I hear the PA system again grating on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard.
“Roman… I—” I’m shaking my head no, because I don’t want to hear how we’ll make it work, get through it, or call it a day. Her eyes are liquid and my fingertips collect tears, brushing them out of her eyes.
“This is the last boarding call for Flight 437 to Los Angeles, boarding now at Gate A11.” The air buzzes around us.
“Be safe, Hollywood, or I’m coming down there before you’re ready for me.” I kiss her wrinkled forehead, tear stained cheeks, and salty lips before turning her around and giving her a gentle spank on her rear, which has her blushing at me. I push her toward the annoyed security guard whose been watching us like a hawk since I came down to the roped off gate floor.
She turns briefly before giving the man her ticket and he takes her bag for the scanner. It all happens too damn efficiently and I watch her get through the gate and look over her shoulder at me one last time before jogging to the boarding desk. She makes it barely in time and I wish we’d been a moment later. Selfishly, I would have wanted her to miss the flight entirely. Her braid of hair disappears through the door, bouncing off her back as the security personal shut the gate.
I thought when I finally found love it would mean I felt good inside—whole and not ripped to shreds. Walking over to the large glass windows, I watch as her plane sits on the tarmac waiting to take off. I feel a buzzing in my pocket and slip out my phone. It’s a text from Abby.
Abby: I love you…
I slam my hand against the glass… looking around, checking to see if the security guard is still there, and he is, fucker. There’s no way I can run past him to the gate to pull her off the plane and drive her myself to LA or wait out the next flight that isn’t sold out. Fuck it! The security guard already looks like he wants a piece of me, so pulling any crazy shit will not work in my favor. I hold back from slamming my hand against the glass again. If she had just said it before she walked away to get on that plane… if I had given her a chance to speak… if she had only fessed up to it… I would have never let her go. Damn it.
I look around but find myself largely ignored by the rest of the airport dwellers. “Yeah, I love you too, Hollywood, except I’m going to say it to you in person, you little chicken-shit, and then I’m really going to spank you,” I mutter, shaking my head. I don’t bother to text her back because I know she’s already turned off her phone. This is the woman who ignored her family for weeks. I know her well enough that she won’t be waiting for my response. Brat. Her plane taxis on the runway before speeding off and smoothly lifting into the air. I watch it bank gently on silver wings, circling the air space before heading in the direction of California. I plan to spank her the next time I get my hands on her so she can’t sit down for days.
Chapter Fifteen
ABIGAIL
I barely make it inside the plane as they close the doors and seated passengers spare a glance in my direction pissed off that I may have been the hold up. I toss my bag in the bin above my seat with the help of a flight attendant and buckle up. The plane hasn’t reached the runway, so I reach into my pocket for my phone. I take a look and find another man clicking away on his keyboard still, uninterested in what I’m doing. The flight attendant has walked to the back of our little plane to help another person, so I look over at my phone again. Sliding my finger over the screen, I check my contacts and missed messages, but my finger hovers over Roman’s contact number.
I could call him before we taxi down the runway... My heart beats faster with adrenaline. I don’t know what awaits me in California, except all my unresolved issues. Roman has been the only constant thing from the day I met him. I miss him from inside this metal bird about to fly away.
My fingers scramble over the text, typing furiously, and then erasing and typing again. I feel sweat on my brow and upper lip from nervousness.
I love you…
Panic forces my fingers to hit send and then shut the phone off, not ready to see or hear his reply. What if he says nothing? What if he rejects how I feel about him? A million scenarios run through my head, and I wait with anticipation for the plane to roll away. I pocket my phone and lean back in my seat as far as I can go without annoying the person behind me.
