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Blake’s lips compressed, and Sparks nodded.
“Is she wrong? It’s been more than a year since you left Texas. Maybe it’s time to go back and face your past head-on.”
Laughing bitterly, Blake started to walk away from him. “Jesus, you, too? What does it matter, anyway? She left me with a note. Saying she needed more than what I was giving her. Pretty much tells me she is done with us.”
Sparks shrugged. “Well, I have it on good authority that if you pulled your head out of your ass and at least tried to see things from her point of view, she’d probably take you back.”
Blake eyed him suspiciously. “Whose authority is that?”
“Let’s just say, women talk.”
“If you know something and you’re not telling me—”
Sparks stepped into him, and although he had several inches in height and muscle on Blake, he didn’t back down.
“You’ll do what?” Sparks asked.
Blake finally stepped back, not really wanting to get into it with one of his best friends. “Nothing.”
“Kline, listen to me. You don’t need to be here picking fights with your friends and screwing up your love life. Why don’t you take some leave and head down to Texas? When you’re ready, I bet Hannah will listen.”
Sparks left Blake standing in the training field, staring off into space. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. When he saw Hannah’s name, his thumb hovered over it again, wishing he could call her again.
He kept looking and finally tapped Dr. Stabler’s number.
Blake was actually surprised when she answered, expecting to get her voicem
ail.
“Hello, this is Dr. Stabler.”
“Dr. Stabler, it’s Blake Kline.”
“Blake, is everything all right? Do we need to move up your appointment?”
He sat down in the grass, leaning his head against the fence.
“I just need to ask you something. It’s about Jenny.”
“Okay, sure, I’ve got a little time. What’s on your mind?”
Blake told her about the memorial, that he felt like he’d finally been making progress toward putting his guilt aside and making a new life, but Hannah didn’t believe him, and neither did Sparks.
“Do you think I should go, if only to prove them wrong?” he asked.
She was quiet for a moment, and he could practically see that pensive expression on her face.
“I don’t think you should do it to prove them wrong. I think you should go for you. This is a huge moment, celebrating Jenny’s life, and yet, you didn’t want to even go. You say that you’re moving on, but if that were the case, then you’d want to be there.”
Blake hated that her words struck a chord inside him he’d been burying deep. “I’m afraid I’m not ready to go back.”
“Blake, it’s time to sink or swim. The only way you are really going to know whether or not you’ve truly let go of Jenny’s death and are ready to move on is to face what you’re scared of.”
“Did you read that on a coffee mug?” he joked.
“A T-shirt, actually.”
Blake chuckled and then took a deep, shaky breath. “Thanks for picking up the phone, Doc.”
