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“Why is being attracted to me a problem?” she asked.
How did he put all of his feelings into words without sounding like a complete head case? Even with Jenny, he’d struggled with communication and putting his emotions into perspective for her. Now Hannah was standing there, asking him to lay his shit bare and tell her all the reasons why he shouldn’t want her?
Why did women have to have everything spelled out for them?
“Because I’m not ready for anything beyond friendship right now.”
Hannah slowly nodded, walking toward the door. She paused with her hand on the knob and turned.
“Just a word of advice, but if you aren’t ready for anything more than friendship, then you shouldn’t go around kissing women like that.”
She pushed out of the door and out of sight before he could tell her he didn’t kiss other women like that. That she was the first since Jenny. But then she might read more into that than he intended.
Just let her go. It’s better this way.
“What the hell did you do?”
Blake caught Best standing in the doorway, looking incredulous.
“I kissed her.”
Best’s eyebrows shot up, and he came in fully, shutting the door behind him. “And your breath was rancid?”
“No, I . . . I stopped it.”
Best dragged in a deep sigh that reeked of exasperation. “Why? That girl obviously likes you, and you’ve got some weird thing for her.”
“Why is it weird?” Blake asked.
“Because if any other woman gets near you, you act as though they have the plague, but you offered to give this girl self-defense lessons. You fucking smell good, dude, which means you snuck into the kid’s showers and cleaned up before she got here, which tells me you care what she thinks.”
“I do.”
“Then why are you standing in here? Go out there and tell her you’re an idiot.”
Blake shook his head. Best didn’t understand. If he chased her down with anything but an apology and an invitation for a date, she was going to be pissed. He’d bungled their first kiss so badly; he wouldn’t blame her if she never spoke to him again.
I AM SUCH a stupid, desperate idiot.
Hannah pulled her keys from her pocket and unlocked her car door, slumping into her front seat with a cry of frustration. She usually never lost her temper like that, but she also didn’t let people walk all over her.
She was so angry with Blake, but mostly with herself. Why would she think it was okay to let Blake kiss her after he had just told her about his dead wife?
Because you wanted him too much to move away.
It was true, but how in the hell was she going to face him if he came into Dale’s? He’d tried to let her down easy, to explain that although he’d had a moment of weakness, he wasn’t ready, and she’d blown up at him. She was a jerk.
A knock on her window made her jump, and she turned to find Blake standing outside her car in the dark, waving at her.
“Sorry for scaring you. Can we talk?”
Hannah was so tempted to take the coward’s way out and escape, but she was an adult, and avoiding your problems was just something you didn’t do.
She opened the door and climbed out, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Sure, what do you want to talk about?”
“Hannah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
