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Normally, Best’s jackass comments wouldn’t have spiked Blake’s temper, but it wasn’t as if he’d been dumped by some woman who’d broken his heart. Jenny was everything he’d ever wanted, and they’d had eleven amazing years together.
Two years might seem like a long time to Best, but to Blake, it was a blip.
As much as these guys were his brothers, there was only so much they could understand about what he?
?d been through. Combat, fears about not coming home, or regret over those they’d left behind—that they could empathize with, but losing a spouse to violence?
If they really understood, they would get why he was so pissed.
Before he could vent his frustrations, though, Best clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, I’m sorry, man. I know I can be an insensitive prick sometimes, and I’m trying to work on it—”
“Try harder,” Blake said through gritted teeth.
Best grinned sheepishly. “Fair enough. I’ll make sure Bryce backs up off your shit, and we’ll try to . . . be more empathetic to your needs.”
Best sounded as if he was almost choking on the words, and Sparks looked at him from across the table crossly. “What’s this we shit? I’ve been telling you to leave him alone, so don’t include me in your actions. I’m just an innocent bystander.”
Blake couldn’t help but laugh. “Where the hell did you learn a word like empathetic, anyway?”
“Therapy.”
Blake grimaced. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s actually helped a lot. Plus, the therapist gave me these exercises to help me deal with shit, so, you know, making progress.”
Although he was happy for Best, Blake couldn’t imagine actually enjoying therapy. Even when they were all stuck in group together, Blake hid behind his friends to avoid participating. It didn’t always work, but then he said as little as possible. Hashing out his emotions with a stranger had never been something he’d deemed helpful.
Best leaned in, apparently unable to refrain from one last remark. “By the way, say hello to Sally Palm and her five sisters later.”
Sparks, who was standing next to them, spewed his beer, erupting in a cough that sounded suspiciously like smothered laughter. Blake shoved his middle finger under Best’s nose, but his friend escaped in order to take his shot.
Blake hated to admit it, but Best wasn’t far off about that. Blake had been spending a lot of extra time jacking off lately, usually early in the morning as he showered. He also hated to admit that more frequently, his fantasies had included a woman who bore a striking resemblance to Hannah.
Blake took a long pull of his beer. Maybe he did need to just push the guilt back and at least settle for something physical. A little relief so he wasn’t so pent up and having dirty thoughts about a woman who was supposed to be a friend.
Glancing Jane’s way, he took a large gulp of his beer before checking his phone again. No new messages.
“What the hell,” he muttered. Talking to a pretty woman didn’t have to mean anything.
Besides, he really didn’t want to go home to his quiet apartment again. Maybe Jane was interested in a little mutual sexual relief, too.
This time, Jenny’s face swam behind his closed eyeballs, and he cringed. It seemed as though every step he took to try to move on was thwarted by thoughts of her, which inevitably led to mountains of guilt.
Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he polished off his beer and went to talk to Bryce’s friend. Tonight, he was going to forget about everything else and just live a little. It had been two years, right?
Just because he was alive and Jenny wasn’t, that didn’t mean he deserved to be this miserable.
Did it?
HANNAH PULLED HER phone out of her purse for the eighteenth time, desperately wishing for the nerve to text Blake. What was the harm?
“Are we keeping you from something?”
The question came from the surprise date her best friend, Nicki, had arranged without her prior knowledge. What was his name? Mark?
He was giving her a sort of vacant grin, and she noticed the hunk of spinach between his teeth, probably left over from the salad they’d had an hour ago. Should she tell him?
“Figured you must have something better to do, since you can’t seem to put your phone down.”
