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His jaw clenches.
“I can’t tell you the last time my mother told me she loved me. I don’t remember. She called me a few days ago to wish me happy birthday. Only, it wasn’t my damn birthday. I know we’ve already discussed my family and how different it is from yours, so you should understand that I don’t have any kind of compass or roadmap for dealing with this.”
“You’re telling me that you’ve never been around anyone who showed you affection?”
“Not without an ulterior motive.” I shake my head vigorously when he takes a step toward me. “No, I don’t need pity. I’m not hurt or whatever. I’m saying that I don’t know how to be around people like that. I don’t know how to trust it. And it overwhelms me.”
“Baby—”
“Don’t placate me.”
“Okay, that’s enough.” His face is mutinous now, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “Don’t fucking tell me how to feel or react to you, Remi. I thought you were having a good time. You laughed, you talked, and you seemed comfortable.”
“It’s not that I was uncomfortable.”
“Then I don’t know what to say or do to make it any better for you,” he says at last. “You have a shitty family. A shit mom. And I know what that’s like, so let me assure you, I didn’t trust the love that those people so freely showed me at first, either. But I can tell you this. They don’t want squat from you, except maybe that you aren’t an asshole or something. But I know you’re not, so that’s covered.”
“I feel like an asshole.”
“I refuse to let you run away from me every time things get hard, or heavy, or uncomfortable.”
“I do things alone,” I inform him. “That’s who I am.”
“I don’t buy it.”
“You don’t have to. I’m telling you, this is who I am. Take it or leave it. I’m going back to the campsite.”
I turn to leave, but Seth suddenly spins me to him and pins me to the door with my face in his hands and his lips hot on mine. He’s pissed off, but he’s not hurting me. He’s intense.
Being with Seth is always intense, no matter what we’re doing. My feelings for him are all-consuming. As if they’ve permeated the very essence of who I am.
My hands dive into his thick, dark hair, and he boosts me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist.
“Don’t you even think of fucking leaving me,” he growls against my neck before biting and then sucking my skin.
“That’s not creepy at all.”
He braces one hand against the wall and tips his forehead against mine as he chuckles.
“Not in a creepy way.”
He carries me through the house as if it’s effortless, straight to his bed. He gently lays me down and crawls over me to nibble my lips.
“Don’t you get it?” His mouth is against mine as he speaks. “You’re everything, Remi. You’re fucking everything.”
And then there are no words as he unzips my jeans and slides his hand inside, under my panties, and presses a finger inside of me.
I arch my back and tear at his shirt, needing to feel his skin against mine.
He pulls his hand away long enough to strip us both bare, and then I’m swamped by desire. By the absolute fierceness in him as he takes what he needs and gives back more than I ever thought possible.
My God, I love him. I love him so much that it paralyzes me with fear. I don’t know how to love. Not really. And Seth deserves so much of it.
I feel my eyes fill with tears as he rolls to the side, gasping for breath, and then kisses the hand he’s had pinned above my head. When his eyes find mine, they widen in horror.
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, or make you stay, or do anything—”
“No.” I cup his face in my hands and hurry to reassure him. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I promise.”
“Then what are the tears for?”
I swallow, and I know that I have to tell him the truth because anything else would be a lie. It would be a game.
“I’m so scared,” I whisper.
“I’ve got you. You’re safe here.”
“I know.” He’s done nothing but show me that he’ll protect me at all costs since the day he saved me in those mountains. “I’m scared because what I feel for you is so big, so deep, that I’m terrified I’ll screw it all up.”
“I’m in love with you,” he admits without hesitation. As if the words flow as freely as the river on his land. “I think I have been since I first saw you. If I’d have let you walk out of here tonight, full of doubt and uncertainty, I would have lost you, Remi, and that’s just not possible.”
