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“Well, that’s not nice, Raegan. Come here.” Before I can stop him, he tugs me against him, and I want to stay in his arms all night—but I can’t.
“I’ve got to go,” I say, pulling away, but not with the same vehemence I displayed earlier. God, what is happening to me?
Before he can stop me, I dart out the door. Safe in my truck, I can’t help but grin like an idiot. If this is what it feels like to be somewhat happy again, then I will take it and I’ll grin my little heart out.
To not see Dad’s vehicle in the driveway feels like the biggest blessing in disguise. I take advantage of that and run to my room. After a quick shower, I’m relaxed on my bed, wondering if Garrett is thinking about me. Of course, just because I have the hots for him doesn’t mean I want to go out with him. Maybe we could just sleep together but then, I don’t do that without commitment. Garrett doesn’t seem like the kind I could sleep with and leave; he would break me, because I know I could fall in love with him. James was the only guy I’ve ever been with. He was the only guy I planned on being with forever—but things change. Regardless, nothing can happen between us. If it did, it’d ruin my chances at the gym. I just know it.
Just as my eyelids are fluttering shut, my phone rings.
“Hello?”
“Raegan.” The voice on the other end sounds weary. There’s a lot of background noise and I almost can’t understand him. “This is Nate down at Janie’s Lounge. I’m sorry to bother you so late, but your Dad has had quite a bit to drink and, well, is there any way you can come get him?”
“Yeah, Nate, I’m on my way.” Aggravated, I drag myself to my feet. My dad is irresponsible and a damn drunk.
The whole way there, I feel numb. He’s a damn cop for crying out loud. I shouldn’t have to do this, but I bite my tongue and try my best.
The minute I walk into Janie’s, the smoke instantly fills my lungs and I know I will definitely be taking another shower when I get home. I already smell as if I’ve smoked several packs of cigarettes and I don’t smoke at all. The jukebox is blasting some tunes from the 70s and it doesn’t take long before I spot my Dad half passed out on the bar. His body is slouched over. His head isn’t quite resting on the bar top. He’s awake, not totally incoherent, but I know this is going to be a struggle.
“Raegan, thank you so much for coming down here. I’m so sorry to bother you.” Nate leans toward me and speaks in a low tone. “Is everything okay at home? I’m not used to seeing him this bad off.” Nate leans against the bar, drawing in a deep breath. The older man looks at me with weary eyes and nods to the bar as if offering me a drink. I politely shake my head no as I turn my gaze back to my father.
“Everything’s fine,” I mutter.
Nate doesn’t seem convinced, but he nods and returns to his work, keeping a watchful eye on the situation.
It takes two grown men almost the size of Howard to help get him into my truck. With one of them on either side, they carry him effortlessly. I thank them for their help as I shut the door on the side where Dad is slumped over. I don’t even bother buckling him in. If anything, I want to open the door and hope he rolls out on the freeway. Getting him into the house is what I am scared of the most. I can’t carry him.
When I pull into the driveway, I shake his shoulder, but he doesn’t budge. “Dad, get up you have to get inside the house.”
“Raegan, what the hell?” He throws his head up, sneering. “I’m fucking sleeping, can’t you see that? Are you stupid?” With one hard push, I land on the driveway. My first instinct is to jump up and punch his face in, but I’m still sore and fear sinks in. Fear that he would do something worse than just put me back on the ground. Memories of his foot in my rib cage help change my mind on that idea. He can sleep outside for all I fucking care, just not in my truck.
He grumbles a little bit then drags himself out of the seat. I don’t say anything, just hide in the shadows for my own safety. Once he gets in the house, I sneak in behind him and don’t stop until I reach my room. With the door locked, I can rest easy.
I pull my purple and pink striped notebook from my nightstand drawer along with the blue ink pen and open it up. I want to pour my heart out but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know where to begin so I stare blankly at the tiny blue stripes on the white paper. The last thing I wrote says I <3 James. It was drawn in obnoxiously large bubble letters. Gah, what a nerd I am. I quickly rip the page and crumple it before tossing into my wastebasket. I begin writing.
I’m going to train and bust my ass to be the best fighter I can. Garrett better get out of my way. Remember, Raegan, he’s nothing but a distraction. A hot, sexy distraction. Remember these words, he’s trouble, and you have enough of that right now.
For some reason, staying away from Garrett is going to hurt like hell, but I can’t figure out why. I close the notebook and place it back in the drawer before snuggling under my covers and succumbing to a peaceful sleep.
Chapter 5
Garrett
It’s been one week since Raegan stepped into Lou’s, since my world turned upside down. Never thought I would look at a woman and experience these sensations. Whitney finally moved out this past weekend. She and Howard only live a few blocks away but I can be a man and admit I miss my sister. This apartment isn’t the same but I manage. Little traces of her are everywhere. There’s the little vase filled with colorful rocks on the table by the door where I throw my keys. Across from that is the picture on the wall that says, Welcome to our Home.
This apartment is the closest thing to a home we had. When we lost our parents in the car accident three years ago, Whitney and I stuck together, sold the house, and started fresh. The memories there were too much for us. We both stumbled into Howard and found what we needed to pull our minds away from everything. The training and fighting helped us cope with the pain. Who knows what we would have gotten into if it hadn’t been fighting?
I can’t help but wonder if Mom and Dad would be proud of the people Whitney and I have become. Of course they would be. Oh man, what I’d give to hug my mom one more time or talk sports with my dad. Now I’ll never be able to do that again because of a drunk driver. I go through every day wanting to pick up my phone and call one of them, but I can’t. Their voices are nothing but a memory, and I cling to that.
I’ll never forget the night we got that phone call. Whitney and I had just seen them a few hours before. They had an evening out planned—dinner, a movie, the whole works. Dad finally had some time off from work; he’d been pulling all kinds of crazy hours. To say Mom was thrilled was an understatement; she spent the day getting ready. Whitney helped do her hair and makeup while I sat around trying to ignore all the girlish hell I was surrounded by. I was with Lance later that night; we were on our way out to Joe’s and Whitney had gone camping with a few of her friends.
I’m not sure who the police tried to contact first but Lance had just pulled up in the parking lot at the bar when my phone rang. Hearing those words sucked the life out of me. All I could do was nod my head and reply to any questions they asked. Lance saw me cry for the first time that night. I broke down sobbing, throwing my phone on the floor of the truck. Then I had to call Whitney. The words weren’t coming out; how was I supposed to tell her we’d just lost our parents?
Lance had to pull the phone away from me and tell her himself. I could hear her screaming and in that instant I wished I could hold my sister. Within thirty minutes Lance had pulled into the camping grounds where I found my sister curled up in a ball on the ground, on the twigs, leaves, and dirt. She clung to me tightly. We were alone now. I never imagined in a million years what it would be like to lose either one of them, but having to sit there and stare at two coffins was torture.
As I lock the apartment for the day, I can’t help but notice the picture of Whitney and I in the living room hanging on the wall. I let out a half smile and imagine what a picture of me and Raegan wou
ld look like in its place.
