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“Yeah.” He nods. “I do.”
My heart begins to swell. Hell, I could probably cry right now, but I cried enough earlier. I rear my fist back and punch. It’s funny thinking of how my right arm should be following right behind to slam into the bag, but I just keep my left arm going until I can’t go anymore. I focus on the bag, taking all my frustrations out on it, and before I know what’s going on, tears are streaming down my face. I have been inside the gym since my release from the hospital, but this is the first time I’ve shown any sort of emotion and I notice Howard, Garrett, and Lance are watching me.
I back away from the punching bag and sink to the floor. I was supposed to be able to keep all of this in check, but I’m only human. No one says a word, but they sink down to meet me and the biggest bear hug I’ve ever felt takes place. Garrett, Howard and Lance are surrounding me, holding tightly. I try to speak but the words fail and I figure it’s better off this way. My brothers are here for me to lean on and I need them.
I manage to pull my arm free to dry the tears from my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I mutter.
“What are you sorry for, man?” Garrett asks. “I think you’re courageous for being here. You’re strong as hell.”
“So strong I can’t tie my own damn shoes. Ruston had to tie my shoes for me this morning.”
“So?” Lance pipes up. “I’ll tie your shoes anytime. We’re here for you. When you need to fall apart, we’re here. They were there for me when I lost my mom. This is the best support system you could ever ask for.”
“He’s right. When Garrett and Whitney lost both of their parents, this place was their solace,” Howard tells me.
“And Raegan,” Garrett begins. “When her dad began using her for a punching bag, she joined this gym and, well, you know the rest.”
“I didn’t know all of that. I’ve just been trying to keep it together, especially here. It hasn’t been easy but I just want some form of normalcy back in my life.”
“We get that and you will. It will just take some adjusting to, and then you’ll experience a whole new normal.” Howard grins. I know he’s right.
“Let me buy you a drink tonight.” Lance pats me on the shoulder.
I turn to face him. I haven’t been out anywhere but to Lou’s since my release. “What about Hilary?”
“She’ll understand for a night. I’ll double check with her in a few. You can’t stay cooped up indoors all the time. Garrett, you in?”
“I wish, but I told Raegan I’d take her to dinner tonight.”
Lance raises his eyebrow and begins chuckling. “Dude, I knew you were whipped from the moment she stepped into the gym.”
“Right?” Howard bellows.
At least the focus is off of me for right now. Garrett glares at them. “Fuck you two. It’s called being in a relationship and treating her to a deserved dinner.”
“That’s what they call it now? So Austin, you in? Don’t leave me hanging.”
“I’m in,” I tell Lance before I can really think about what I just agreed to. He’s right, I do deserve this, and I’m going to go have a drink or two and try to forget about all the turmoil.
Chapter 3
Paige
“When’s he going to give you child support or something? Darla will be five before you know it and you’ve seen a whole twenty five dollars for one of those big boxes of diapers when she was a newborn.” My mom turns to face me in the kitchen.
I shouldn’t roll my eyes, but I do. Yeah, Brendan turned out to be a world-class asshole who walked out not long after Darla was born, but I’ve been making it. I don’t need his help. On my own, I’ve put myself through nursing school and I have a little one bedroom apartment I pay for myself. I know Mom means well. Hell, if I didn’t have her I’d be paying for daycare, and that’s an added expense I’m thankful I don’t have right now.
“I haven’t heard from him in probably a year, Mom. He’s not coming around. Darla and I are just fine. Now can you keep your voice down? I don’t want her overhearing. She’s getting too nosy and I don’t need her asking any questions about him.”
“I know and I’m sorry, but I just worry about you two. I’m very proud for the life you’re able to provide for her, I just wish she had that extra figure in her life. All little girls need their daddies.”
“Well, that’s one little girl who doesn’t. Brendan made his choice and I couldn’t change his mind. If he doesn’t want us, I don’t care.”
“Mommy, where are you going?” Darla comes running from my parents’ living room holding her favorite baby doll in her hands. The pony tail holder is slipping out of her thin blonde hair and I reach out to grab it and tuck it into my pocket.
I kneel down to her as she jumps in my arms. “Mommy is going to let you have a sleepover with Grammy and Papa tonight, remember?”
“Papa said I can have ice cweam!” she giggles. My mom raises her eyebrow as she glances at the clock on the wall. She always was a stickler for not giving me sweets past a certain time when I was younger.
