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“Cassie’s a nice girl,” he says.
O-kay. “Sure she is. I never said—”
“Fuck. Forget it.” He takes a pull from the cigarette, lets the smoke out. “Who the hell cares anyway what she’s like?”
I frown at my hands hanging between my knees, the embers at the tip of my smoke glowing. “You, obviously.”
Duh.
It’s his turn to choke on smoke. “Screw you, J.”
I snort and wipe sweat from my eyes. “Get in line, buddy.”
Finally I get a laugh out of him, and I lean back, the tension leeching out of my shoulders. “Well, you’re a manslut, J. Why are you surprised girls assume you’re game for anything fun?”
Ouch. I don’t know why it smarts to hear Seth of all people say this to me. It’s not the first time I’ve been called a whore—God, not the first time at all—but mostly it’s from people who mean nothing to me, not one of my friends. Not the guy about whose health I worry and whose chores I did this morning.
“Fuck you, too,” I mutter, throwing the stub of my cigarette to the ground and rummaging in my pocket for the pack. “You know nothing about me.”
He shakes his head and smirks. “I know enough.”
Yeah. Damn. “Bullshit.”
“I know you hate cleaning the shop. You love hotdogs and burgers, all that’s greasy. You have no clue how to deal with money, or the fact you got a steady income and a roof over your head.”
“Yeah, cut out the love talk now. One might think we’re dating or something.”
“Hard not to notice stuff.”
“And your point is?”
“You need to realize it’s true, J.”
“What’s true?”
“All of it. The roof, the money, the permanence of it. You’re off the streets.”
“And for how long? How can you think it will last, huh?” Dammit. I light my second cigarette a
nd am horrified to find out my hands are trembling. “Fuck.”
“All I’m saying, man, is I’m right where you are. We gotta believe it and start living, you know?”
“No, I don’t know, so stop yakking. It was peaceful and quiet until you came out.”
An echo of the words Amber spoke to me when I last visited her. My gaze drops to the faded line on my wrist where my leather band used to be. It was there for years, and now I went and lost it. Fucking stupid how it hurts not to have it.
How it matters when it’s just a thing. You’d think I lost a friend. But it was a friend who gave it to me, and it was the last piece of her I had. Now I got nothin’.
“What do you know about Amber?” I ask, the words leaving my mouth before I can think, before I can wonder what she has to do with the darkness swirling in my mind.
“Amber? Ev’s friend?”
“You know more Ambers?” I say irritably, tapping a rhythm with my foot until I realize I’m doing it and stop.
Damn.
“Man, are you seriously hitting on Amber? She’s Ev’s best friend. One wrong move, Ev gets upset, Micah will break both your legs and arms. Not to mention Zane and Rafe.”
