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And what can I tell him? Hey, sorry man, the girl you want sexually assaulted me because she has a crush on me instead of you?
Sure. That’d go down great.
As for Dylan, who comes by sometimes, and Rafe, they pretend I don’t exist. Unlike Zane, they haven’t tried talking to me.
Which is cool with me.
No, that’s a lie, it’s not. But who the hell cares? Even Seth who said he believed me isn’t defending me.
Screw them. I’ll be okay. Always landing back on my feet. Don’t trust, Helen used to say. Don’t open up. All they want is an opening to stick a hurt into you.
Helen…
I keep going through the motions, day after day, night after fucking night, thinking of Amber.
Until one day I see her.
She’s standing at the bus stop not far from Damage Control, dressed in a denim skirt and a white top that hugs her curves. Her dark hair is twisted into a messy bun, secured with a white-beaded stick.
Christ, I missed her. She’s never looked more beautiful.
My mouth goes dry. “Embers?”
She jumps, her blue eyes going round. “Jesse.”
Not JJ.
“I’ve been calling you and texting you.” I bite back the bitterness and paste on a smile. “How have you been?”
“I…” She glances at the street, as if hoping the bus will arrive soon and save her from this conversation. “I don’t want to talk right now.”
I clench my jaw. My hands are balled into fists and shaking. “Embers, about what happened at the wedding reception—”
“I said I don’t want to talk.” She takes a step away from me. Scared of me, dammit.
“She came on to me, Embers. I tried pushing her away.”
“Don’t call me that. Don’t call me Embers. It’s not my name.”
Like a physical blow, her words knock the air out of my lungs. “Don’t do this, Em— Amber.” I wince. It doesn’t feel right, calling her anything but Embers.
“When you were late picking me up that night…” She isn’t looking at me. Her hand is white-knuckled on the handle of her purse. “Were you with another girl? With Cassie?”
The fuck? “No, I wasn’t. You want the truth? I went to testify against the guy who cut me up all those years ago. The one I told you about.”
Her eyes skip to my tattooed arm, then back to the street. “Why would you do that after all this time?”
“Because he’s been beating my friends up.” And because you gave me strength. “It’s a turf war, or drug war. I don’t know, and I don’t care. I only want him behind fucking bars.”
She flinches, and I sigh, not sure what to do.
“I wouldn’t cheat on you. I don’t want Cassie.” I shove my hands into my pockets. “Hell, I don’t want any other girl but you. Don’t you get it?”
There. My fucking heart laid out on the chopping board. Fuck caution. Fuck not opening up.
“Get it? Get what?” she whispers, and her eyes look damp. “Come on, Jesse, what are the chances of Cassie falling on your mouth all on her own? Tell me.”
Her lips tremble, and I feel like an asshole, even if this isn’t my fault.
