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Tears prick my eyes as I settle into the car and close the door. How to deal with this? He didn’t forget about me, that much is clear. And although he’s trying to push me away, I’m still in love with him.
This is so complicated. My anger’s fading, leaving me restless and wondering… if maybe I’m seeing this all wrong. Approaching it in the worst possible way because I feel like I’m the injured party, when in fact I’m also keeping secrets from him. Big secrets that I’m not ready to divulge, because I’m not sure how he’ll react.
Because I’m scared he’ll run away again, and now that he’s back I don’t want him to leave. I want another chance.
Please. Please, one more chance. I’ll try not to screw it up again. Though, without knowing why he left, how can I assume he’ll stay?
I bury my face in my hands for a long moment, drawing a deep breath. It’s Friday. I need to go back home, see Jax, clear my head. Then perhaps I’ll know what to do.
Tessa’s waiting for me at our favorite café, her long legs encased in tight pants and her hair up in a chignon.
“Hey. What’s up?” She sips at her latte. “Boy giving you trouble again?”
I shrug. She pushes toward me her notes from her latest Spanish lesson, and I glance at them, my mind a million miles away. The waitress walks up to our table, and I order coffee, then look back down at the notes. No idea what I’m reading.
“Earth to Erin.” Tessa snickers from across the little table. “Will you tell me what happened?”
Absolutely no way. Just the memory sends heat up my cheeks.
“Is it Tyler? Or Jax? Hmm?” She winks over her tall latte glass, a white foam mustache on her upper lip.
A giggling fit suddenly grips me. Jesus, I’ve been lying to my best friends about who I really am, who Jax is and why I live the way I do, and I blame Tyler for keeping his secrets?
Secrets that may have to do with those scars. Terrible secrets, while mine aren’t that sort.
“When are we gonna meet this mysterious Jax?” Tessa asks, right on cue. She pouts. “You talk and talk about him but don’t really tell us anything, and you spend most weekends with him, but he never visits you? I haven’t even heard his voice, ever. I’m starting to think you made him up.”
Sobering, I pull out my cell. Yeah. Time to stop living a lie. I dial the number of my parents’ house.
“Who are you calling?” Tessa asks.
“Jax.” Time I did this. No matter if my palms are sweating. “You wanted to talk to him.”
Tessa squeals, earning us curious looks from the other customers. “For real?” Her eyes are shining.
“For real.” Will she hate me when she knows the truth?
The phone rings several times before Mom picks up. “Digame?”
“Mama. It’s me, Erin.”
“Mijita.” I can hear the big smile in her voice. “How are you?”
“Fine, Mom. I think I’ll come over this weekend, if that’s okay.”
“How can you ask that?” She gets all affronted whenever I say it, and it makes me snicker. “We wait for you, always.”
“Great. Is Jax there? Can I talk to him?”
“Sure, honey. Wait.”
I hear her shout for Jax as Tessa stares at me, worrying her lower lip between her teeth.
Then Jax says hello, and I forget about Tess for a moment, my chest expanding with happiness at his voice.
“How are you, baby?” I ask.
He laughs. “Baby. I’m fine, and you?”
