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It’s still raining outside, and I’m instantly drenched once more. I barely notice it as I turn and start walking down the street, not knowing where I’m heading.
It isn’t until much later, when night has fallen, and I try to remember which way is to my new apartment, that I realize the panic attack never came.
Just like her photo, her presence stopped it in its tracks, and although I have no clue what that means, I have a feeling it’s something I ought to know, something important.
Chapter Two
Erin
Locking the bathroom door behind me, I brace my hands on the granite counter, lean over the sink and bow my head. I feel light-headed. The room spins. Tears burn my eyes—tears of shock, relief and frustration kept back for way too long.
Oh my God. Tyler is right here. Can’t believe it.
He’s back. The guy I gave my heart—and body—to, only to have him disappear without a word for four years, and that at a time in my life I needed him the most.
I take deep breaths and look up into the small oval mirror. It has a frame of shimmering stones around it that looks like a dragon’s scales. Zane’s work. I only came by Damage Control to give Zane the apartment keys he forgot to take with him. We share the apartment, and he’s been distracted lately. I wasn’t prepared for such a jolt.
My eyes are red and my lashes wet, although I’ve felt no tears leaking. I turn on the water and pat my hot cheeks.
A day hasn’t passed in which I haven’t thought about Tyler. Where he is. If he’s okay. If he’s alive. Nobody knew to tell me, and my internet searches didn’t help any. Asher denied knowing anything and I often thought he must be lying to me, that Tyler made him swear not to tell. That maybe he made a new life elsewhere, that he was with another woman, that he had a family.
The thought hurt, but it wasn’t the one that hurt the most. No, it was the fear that something bad happened to him. That maybe he died, and nobody was telling me. Stupid, I know. You can’t keep someone’s death a secret. Still I’d checked online for obituaries, and every time I was so glad I didn’t find his.
I missed him. His big smile, his rough voice, his strength. The way he looked at me like I was the most precious thing in the world. And God, he’s so sexy, sexier than I remember—his dark hair messy and shaggy, his chocolate eyes bright, his mouth, and that body...
Did Zane know Tyler was back? Why didn’t he say anything? I know that a month ago something happened to Asher—that his dad died and that he himself had been in the hospital for a few days—but Jax was sick, and I went to stay with him for a few days, until he got better. When I came back, Zane said Asher was fine and left it at that.
It all becomes clear. His dad dying and his brother almost following the same fate brought him back. He came back for his brother. Not for me.
Goddammit, Erin. I wipe my eyes, smearing them with black eyeliner until I look like a vampire. The silver hoops in my ears glint as I study my reflection. I smooth my dark hair back.
Tyler’s alive. He’s okay. He’s here.
Who else but me would still cry over their high school sweetheart? Tessa always tells me I have to move on. It’s been four frigging years. And I have a great man in my life. But it’s not the same.
Can’t stop caring for Tyler. Can’t stop being angry at him for leaving like that, for never calling or texting. For hurting me so much I thought I’d die. I had wanted to die for a while back then.
Can’t go through this again.
And yet I need to see him, make sure he’s real, that he’s really here. Talk to him. Shake him. Demand answers.
Apologize to him.
Because before he left, we fought, and I called him horrible things. Told him I didn’t want to see him again. I fear he left because of my behavior and the guilt has been tearing me apart for so long. I was never able to take those words back, because right after our fight, he vanished into thin air. I was so stupid. I was out of control, and although I know now why, I can’t turn back time.
I run my wet hands through my bangs and smooth my frazzled ponytail. I look like crap. That’s not how I imagined meeting Tyler again. Of course, my mind painted thousands of encounters with him, none of which involved me running to the bathroom and hiding like a child from the one person I’ve longed so long to see.
I wipe my cheeks, doing my best to remove the black streaks of eyeliner, open the bathroom door and walk out. I scan the interior of the shop for Tyler’s tall, broad-shouldered figure.
He’s not there.
Gone, like smoke. Was he really here, or did I imagine him?
“Erin,” Zane calls, starting toward me, his Mohawk towering over the booths.
“Where’s Tyler?” I feel ready to break apart again, to shatter into a million pieces.
“He left. Hey.” Z
